Life Lately #3

I fell in love with vlogging! My time for blogging has been given to recording and editing. That’s the reason I have no blog entry for the month of October. And when I don’t have an entry for a long time, I just give an update about my existence. Aside from my usual globetrotting, here are my other whereabouts.

I did another episode for TFC K World. We featured a famous Filipino restaurant in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia named Fiestahan. The savory treat I had in this resto must be experienced by our OFWs in the city. Watch it here: K World: Fiestahan Restaurant in Riyadh

Jed and I had a weekend getaway at Bahrain. We traveled by car and it was the most exciting part. It was our first time to do kart racing. We had a time to watch in a movie house. It was actually our first movie date together. Also, we had fun at a waterpark. I have yet to blog about this.

I attended a god daughter’s first birthday in a private resort last October 5. I finally saw this cutie little baby because I was not able to be in her Christening day. I was too happy to see my RCA family.

October days off were spent in the Philippines. The main reason was to become one of the bridesmaids of my colleague/close friend, Angel, on October 18. I just couldn’t hide my emotions when I saw her walk down the aisle. That’s the most heart melting part in a wedding, right?

Mama and Papa celebrated their 37th wedding anniversary on October 26. I was already back in my working base at the time. Oh, these two are my inspirations. I pray that they will celebrate more anniversaries together.

And heeeey! I operated a royal flight. This is a sporadic experience given to a very few cabin crew in our commercial airline. It’s such a good experience. I was so lucky!

Last week, I got to spend 8 hours of chatting over steak and coffee with Fatima, a girl friend for 16 years.

Jotting all the highlights of the past months down made me realize how happy I have been. Wooooow! All are HAPPY memories.

38 days before this year ends. Do I need a plot twist? I guess, nah. I’m happy and contented!

A Newbie in the World of Vlogging

“Who would be interested in watching my videos on Youtube?” - This is the first thing that comes to mind when my family and friends encourage me to vlog. As unbelievable as it sound, I lack self-esteem. You see me hosting an event/TV show and/or striking a fierce pose in a picture, but I am pretty shy in person. People close to me can prove this naked truth to you.

I love capturing unforgettable moments on videos. If not busy, I compile, edit, and share it on Facebook. I always record random activities on Instagram stories and Facebook My Day. I joined different public speaking competitions before. I graduated AB Mass Communication. These could be the reasons why my family and friends believe that I have the prowess to be part of the vlogging world, thus, pushed me to do so.

I was hesitant for a long time. I had a moment where I thought to myself, “Who could sit out my videos? Will the people like me? If ever, what will I vlog about?”. I was just convinced when this blogspot of mine got successfully linked to Google Adsense. I’ve been hearing about Google Adsense for a long time. Some have been asking me to try it, but again, I was too pessimistic. I never believed that my page have readers and could be approved by Adsense. But alas! I made it! I was very ecstatic. If my blog made it, a vlog of mine can also make it. So, now I am sharing with all of you my first vlog.

This vlog was taken in Paris. It is not only focused on my tour at the Eiffel Tower. I opted to make it more worthwhile by talking about something interesting. Like what I said in the video, “Since we are at the city of love, why not talk about love”. It sounds cheesy, but I hope you’ll like it. I am a novice. I still suck at recording and editing. Constructive criticisms are very much welcome.

My goal now is to get an approval for my Youtube account from Google Adsense. So, I’ll be needing your support. If you find it interesting, please watch and like the video and subscribe to my channel. Thank you so much!

Hajj Season

It’s hajj season. It is also the season my heart inevitably melts every time I take our guests from their homeland to the holy land, Mecca.

Our roster this month is jam-packed with hajj flights. Hajj flight is a sector where all our passengers on board are pilgrims. They are my fellow Muslims who travel to Mecca to perform this once in a lifetime pilgrimage.

I will not talk about Hajj, as I myself haven’t done it yet. But I will talk about the beginning of their journey.

The usual scenario is I stand in the aisle, waiting for them to embark the aircraft. The first few guests are in wheelchairs. They are assisted by our traffic control agents. Next in line are the people who use crutches. Followed by the other 300 able-bodied guests. Majority comes from one agency.

I know that there’s nothing to pity about these worshippers. But sometimes, I can’t help but shed tears. You know why? It is because of the fact that most of them have spent their entire lives working hard just to save money and be able to fulfill their duty as Muslims. That is why most of them are very, very old, especially those who are from impoverished countries like India, Bangladesh and Pakistan.

I can’t forget this particular passenger/pilgrim in my Lucknow-Jeddah flight. He was a very old man in “ihram” cloth (white garment worn during Hajj), holding a blue plastic bag with water and packs of biscuits inside. He was alone. I welcomed him from the boarding door and tried to assist him to his seat. Obviously, wrinkly grandpa experienced difficulty walking. I was holding his hands as he walked at a slower speed. We were walking for 5 minutes already. His seat was located at the aft and yet we just passed the first 10 rows of seats in the cabin only. I couldn’t take it, I had to leave him and asked my colleague to replace me. Not because I was being impatient, but my tears were already falling. I ran to the lavatory and cried. It’s just breaking my heart to think that he already reached that age before he (and/or maybe his family) became financially capable of carrying out Hajj. However, there was this pinch of happiness in my heart for knowing that he can finally complete the 5 pillars of Islam. During the 5-hour flight, I was visiting him from time to time. The Hindi-speaking grandpa was so charming. I offered him cups of water many times, but he kept on pointing to his blue plastic bag while smiling, implying that he has still bottled water.

Most of our guests are primitive. It’s their first time to ride an airplane. I have to clean the lavatory multiple times. Normally, if I experience this in other sectors, I get pissed off. I’m just being honest. But Hajj flights were exempt from annoyance. Guests are very grateful. I don’t mind giving coffee and tea repeatedly.

Pilgrims from Indonesia and Malaysia are so pleasant to look at. They all wear the same colorful clothes and carry same bags.

Seated on the emergency exit, as the aircraft lands to the most-awaited destination, I can see the excitement on their faces. I apologize to my airline, but I fail to do the “silent review”. Instead I whisper a prayer... “Alhamdullilah for I am part of this people’s journey to the house of Allah. May Allah forgive their sins and accept all their good deeds.”

First Drop of Vodka

I was floating. I felt so light. Everything and everyone seemed to move slowly. My blood turned into a boiling lava. It felt so, so hot! But I couldn’t feel anything on the outside. I could’t feel the temperature of the lowball glass filled with vodka that I was holding. The feeling was strange. Being drunk for the first time felt weird, but amazing! I became young and carefree.

Before I continue, I would like to say sorry to my parents. This will be the first time they will learn that their middle daughter has tasted an alcohol already after 26 years. Yes, 26 years! It took me 26 years to dauntlessly instill an alcohol into my body. I know most of you might raise an eyebrow at me, but I am telling the truth.

My parents do not drink and they always remind me not to make an attempt. I’ve been an obedient child. Boozing was scarcely my dish. It didn’t excite me. I could socialize and live without a drop of liquor in my mouth. I’d rather sip either an iced tea or a shake. You may ask my colleagues and friends how many offered glasses of liquor I rejected. I don’t easily get influenced. I’ve been so reserved and steadfast. One prime reason was I did not want to disappoint my parents. Until month of August came...

I was in a wine lounge in London with my colleagues. Everyone ordered her own drink. Jovan took martini, Vanessa opted for cognac, Maika had rum, Francheska and Bridgette got mojito... and I asked for a mocktail. They mocked me. They did not allow me to get one. They handed me vodka instead. I was hesitant at first but eventually got won over, not because of peer pressure. C’mon! I told you I chucked out many of it before, especially when I was in college. This time, I wanted it! Reason for having done it was so silly and immature. I am not sure if it was an alleviation of negative thoughts, celebration of freedom, utilization of the free pass I obtained after a long-term relationship, or merely a revenge. And again, it had something to with the past.

I am not sharing this with you because of reminiscence. I want to share how drinking became part of my exploration when I was lost and eventually ditched it.

Every layover, I joined the group of crew who were up for boozing. The biggest consumption of alcohol I imbibed was on New Year in Hyderabad, India. The party included performers, dance floor and open bar. I drank all kinds of liquor and partied. I was getting more shots and was waiting for myself to get dropped. I was so curious to know what it’s like to be wasted. But I did not! That’s when I learned about my high tolerance to alcohol. I never experienced throwing up, pounding headache nor being carried by a friend to go home.

What kind of drunken I am? I am the nurse and the caller. I take care of an intoxicated puking friend and accompany her to the bed. After that, I call a special friend. I am just so glad that I never drunk dialed an ex. Haha! The first guy who received a ring was gentlemanly enough to deal with me, prolly because he told me the next morning that I was so sweet last night. And this year, the man who heard all my shitty and junky words but never left me is my special someone. I couldn’t remember a thing, but he said I cursed him many times. Oh snap!

This activity continued for 8 months, from August 2017 until March this year. I just stopped when the next morning, my sober self saw the videos of my drunken self acting up in my Instagram stories. I was in Jakarta, Indonesia at the time. Honestly, I couldn’t remember I posted those. I immediately deleted them. Good thing I did not shared it on FB My Day for my mom would surely see it and I’d be busted. Oh dear! My friends and the special friend scolded me. It finally hit my hard that alcohol drinking does not do me good.

I never did extreme stuff while being drunk. The worst thing I did was cursing my man. I have nothing against people who drink. But for me, I just really can’t see the advantages. Honestly, I feel dumb for having the nerve to booze when my own father does not. It makes me feel guilty.

I won’t lie, I like the state of intoxication. But I have to stop because I am losing myself more every time I do it. Me, holding a glass of vodka is not Annizah at all. I don’t want to lose that identity. Moreover, I would like to apologize to my parents for the disappointment, but I know you’ll always be proud of me. 

And to all drinkers, drink responsibly! Cheers!

Bohol - Lovelier the Second Time Around

I am the kind of traveler who doesn’t return to the same destination (not job related). Exploring the place once is enough for me. But I never thought that a same destination would be different if it’s explored with different people. It gives you different feeling, taste, and perspective.

The first time I visited Bohol was last November 2016 with a then-special person. I was in awe of its beauty and the generosity of the locals. I still felt the same thing when I revisited in November 2017, but this time with my family.

I asked my father where he wants to have a weekend getaway, Bohol or Cebu. My parents have been to Cebu before, so they opted for Bohol. Since it was not my little sister’s school break, we just stayed in the island province from November 10-12. It may be a quickie, but I kid you not, we saw almost everything! We even got to see Jardin Necitas which is 2-3 hour drive from Panglao.

Here are the tourist attractions we stopped by:

1.) Bohol Bee Farm

2.) Hinagdanan Cave

3.) Nova Shell Museum

4.) Alona Beach

5.) Blood Compact Shrine Bohol

6.) Loboc Church

7.) Danao Adventure Park

8.) Loboc Bohol Floating Restaurant

9.) Bamboo Hanging Bridge

10.) Man-made Forest

11.) Philippine Tarsier Sanctuary

12.) Chocolate Hills

13.) Jardin Necitas

Bohol is a historical site, white sand beach, wondrous landscape, adventure-filled terrain/sea... rolled into one. 

Life Lately

It’s been a while! I’ve been so, so busy lately, with career and life itself. But amid the jam-packed schedule, there were new experiences, lessons, and discoveries gained.

My last previous blogposts contain my scuffle with adulthood, where I couldn’t find myself. I didn’t believe in quarter life crisis at first. I was too judgy to think people claiming they’re going through such are just being excessively dramatic... until I hit a low point in life. I thought it was just another post-heartbreak depression, but it felt different... terribly different. Like what I said before, I came to a point where I questioned my purpose already. But with God’s guidance, friends and family’s support, I was able to overcome it. I realized that as we live this life, we continue to look and find for ourselves. This helps us evolve into someone better.

There were activities and events I pursued. Well, I really made myself busy to avoid crisis confinement. I diverted my focus into my passion. I tried to become active on TFC again. When I do not have flights on weekends, I do hosting jobs. This passion gives me joyous feeling. I thank my colleagues-turned-family as they always welcome me despite my inconsistency.

Remember when I said I don’t get excited with traveling anymore? I had my first visit in Munich last March. It was my first time to see snow falling. I saw a snow when I had my days off in Lake Tahoe, California. But seeing snowflakes fall down your hair is just crazy. I felt so giddy to see the whole street turns into white. The layover lasted for 52 hours, so we were able to travel to Salzburg, Austria on the second day. Yes, it felt refreshing to see new cities. But I must say that at the end of the day, I still prefer India and Bangladesh flights/layovers, as we consider these as relaxed journey.

After 3 months of having the OFW hunch, I went home to see my family and super friends and to be the maid of honor of Vuenavir on her wedding Day. April 14 is such a memorable day for all of us as our circle became complete after 7 long years. Rhian came home from Canada and Jeric from Japan. We all waited for this day to come, to be together and to witness our friend get hitched to the love of her life after all the struggles.

My big sister, brother-in-law, and 2 nephews had their vacay, too, from April 13 to May 11. Here’s what broke my heart. We were supposed to have a family vacation in Malaysia from May 4 until 7. Everything was all booked; ticket with travel tax and hotels. The night before our flight, my father prepared all our documents. He then noticed that my little sister’s passport was already expired last December. Oh dear! Please understand that my parents are busy and ageing, hence the derilict passport. I experienced as sudden feelings of being cold. I told my mom and dad to push through the trip with my big sister and her family. I would just stay home with Irah, since I’ve been to Malaysia several times already. But the parents refused. They would not enjoy the trip without us two, they said. I was heavy hearted. We had been planning this out of the country trip for a long time, as the last one was back in 2013. I had been expecting a family picture taken in front of Petronas Twin Tower. All the excitement and expectation vanished. Nonetheless, we didn’t ruin summer. We did various activities, like swimming, dining out, etc.

As I am composing this, I am currently in the plane going back to Riyadh. My vacation is not over yet, but I will get into the second part of it. This time, it’s a spring escapade in Cali with the man who’s giving me butterflies and rainbows.

Fight in this Plight

For the past few months, I've been spending most of my rest days in bed- curling up while musing on my life... MY ENTIRE LIFE. I do not want to sound like I don't feel content with my life. I know a lot of people wish that they had what I have now (flying and traveling). But this body of mine is designed to be mortal. I have these muscles that can get weak. I have these nerves that might become overloaded. I have a heart that pumps and sometimes aches. I have this brain that has a tendency to get weary.

I wrote about this ordeal last month: "Lost and Empty". There came a point where I did not know what I want in my life and what I want to do. Do not get me wrong, please. I am thankful for the people and things in my life. So, I really do not know where I've come from and where these things have come from. Maybe, it's just that I am human and cannot always unleash the warrior in me.

I've been flying for 3 years now and each year has a different approach. My first year was all about new destinations, selfies, and OOTDs. Second year was a phase of building rapport with colleagues and determining who could be my family in this aviation world. My third year of flying was the same year when quarter-life crisis struck me. I must admit that a heartache was a big factor in this decisive period. But of course, this adulthood has something to do with it. I had a moment when I was sitting on my jump seat and wondering how long I will be in this line of work. I stopped feeling excited with new destinations and planning for my outfit. I became demotivated to the extent that I questioned my purpose already.

I thought of going back to corporate world. Perhaps, redevelop my passion for hosting/blogging. Becoming a housewife and a mother of 2 even crossed my mind, which is a silly, insane idea. These thoughts and feelings were like whirlwind inside my head.

But a few weeks back, I received two recognitions.

First award was from my Alma Mater, Centro Escolar University. I was recognized for embracing and practicing our core principles of "Ciencia y Virtud" (Science & Virtue). I tried to pull strings to be at the awarding in Manila on January 27, but did not make it due to flight schedule. However, my schoolmates sent me some photos during the event. I will soon visit our campus to see my professors and get the award. Yay!

On February 12, I received excellence award from my airline. I am one of the best cabin attendants of year 2017 in Riyadh base.

Despite the vacuity, I have always known that I am not alone in this plight. I have these people who truly believe in and appreciate me. These awards helped me redeem myself one way or another. It’s like a pat on my back, reminding me that I am valued and that many people still need my service. It motivated me.

Honestly, I'm still figuring out this life path. I may be lost and empty now, but there are some visible lights along the way that give me hope... that one day I will be able to define myself and be on top again.

Lost and Empty

How would you feel and what would you do if half of your heart and three-quarter of your soul were taken away from you? You get lost and try to find yourself. You feel empty and try to fill it up.

I released my clasp on my whole self. It was not even in a gradual manner. It was abrupt that one day, I don’t know myself anymore. I suddenly saw life in a different way. I wanted to live life in another way.

The moment this heart was cut in half and only 1/4 of my soul was left in my body, I have become outrageous. I’ve taken advantage of the freedom I obtained. I explored. I tried new things. I met new people. I went to the other side of the world. I crossed the line. It made me ecstatic... Very ecstatic! But for a short time. I thought it was the thing that I’ve been looking for. I was wrong.

I felt like I went into the woods, seeking myself or maybe just out of nothing. I got tired then opted to go home, but could’t find the way out. I felt like I jumped out of the aircraft at 20,000 ft. I could see the whole world, but did not know where to land.

I hate myself for feeling this way. I am on the right path, but I feel lost. I am loved by many, but I feel empty. I cannot detect traces of tranquility and certainty.

2018 has just come. Hopefully, I’ll be able to redeem myself. And don’t worry... I always ask God for His guidance. I know I’ll be fine...