Before I continue, I would like to say sorry to my parents. This will be the first time they will learn that their middle daughter has tasted an alcohol already after 26 years. Yes, 26 years! It took me 26 years to dauntlessly instill an alcohol into my body. I know most of you might raise an eyebrow at me, but I am telling the truth.
My parents do not drink and they always remind me not to make an attempt. I’ve been an obedient child. Boozing was scarcely my dish. It didn’t excite me. I could socialize and live without a drop of liquor in my mouth. I’d rather sip either an iced tea or a shake. You may ask my colleagues and friends how many offered glasses of liquor I rejected. I don’t easily get influenced. I’ve been so reserved and steadfast. One prime reason was I did not want to disappoint my parents. Until month of August came...
I was in a wine lounge in London with my colleagues. Everyone ordered her own drink. Jovan took martini, Vanessa opted for cognac, Maika had rum, Francheska and Bridgette got mojito... and I asked for a mocktail. They mocked me. They did not allow me to get one. They handed me vodka instead. I was hesitant at first but eventually got won over, not because of peer pressure. C’mon! I told you I chucked out many of it before, especially when I was in college. This time, I wanted it! Reason for having done it was so silly and immature. I am not sure if it was an alleviation of negative thoughts, celebration of freedom, utilization of the free pass I obtained after a long-term relationship, or merely a revenge. And again, it had something to with the past.
I am not sharing this with you because of reminiscence. I want to share how drinking became part of my exploration when I was lost and eventually ditched it.
Every layover, I joined the group of crew who were up for boozing. The biggest consumption of alcohol I imbibed was on New Year in Hyderabad, India. The party included performers, dance floor and open bar. I drank all kinds of liquor and partied. I was getting more shots and was waiting for myself to get dropped. I was so curious to know what it’s like to be wasted. But I did not! That’s when I learned about my high tolerance to alcohol. I never experienced throwing up, pounding headache nor being carried by a friend to go home.
What kind of drunken I am? I am the nurse and the caller. I take care of an intoxicated puking friend and accompany her to the bed. After that, I call a special friend. I am just so glad that I never drunk dialed an ex. Haha! The first guy who received a ring was gentlemanly enough to deal with me, prolly because he told me the next morning that I was so sweet last night. And this year, the man who heard all my shitty and junky words but never left me is my special someone. I couldn’t remember a thing, but he said I cursed him many times. Oh snap!
This activity continued for 8 months, from August 2017 until March this year. I just stopped when the next morning, my sober self saw the videos of my drunken self acting up in my Instagram stories. I was in Jakarta, Indonesia at the time. Honestly, I couldn’t remember I posted those. I immediately deleted them. Good thing I did not shared it on FB My Day for my mom would surely see it and I’d be busted. Oh dear! My friends and the special friend scolded me. It finally hit my hard that alcohol drinking does not do me good.
I never did extreme stuff while being drunk. The worst thing I did was cursing my man. I have nothing against people who drink. But for me, I just really can’t see the advantages. Honestly, I feel dumb for having the nerve to booze when my own father does not. It makes me feel guilty.
I won’t lie, I like the state of intoxication. But I have to stop because I am losing myself more every time I do it. Me, holding a glass of vodka is not Annizah at all. I don’t want to lose that identity. Moreover, I would like to apologize to my parents for the disappointment, but I know you’ll always be proud of me.
And to all drinkers, drink responsibly! Cheers!
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