An Infelicitous Second Look on the Year 2013



(Mukha akong sasali sa Miss Gay. Lol! I don't care! Haha!)

I remember my retrospective on 2012 that I did last year. I mentioned on my blogpost, "Review & Reflect Upon the Year 2012", I felt like there was this baggage I left in 2012. I was wrong! I actually took it with me as I voyaged to 2013. It was a baggage that I should've left the earliest. A baggage that I handled improperly.

 

I became a sinner. Mountainous mistakes were committed. (Not a crime, alright? Neither drugs. OMG!) One is a lifetime mistake. What I thought to be a kindness turned out to be a wickedness. I was at my worst. I don't know if I only made a wrong decision, or perhaps I was not smiled on by good fortune, or it could be karma. There's too much negativity around me.

 

Though it is agonizing, I still want to take a second look at the things that happened last year. Here:

 

January

• Celebrated New Year with the whole family.
• Made a birthday presentation for Daryl
• Met Dan, brother of my former schoolmate Baste
• KT at Seder Compound. I enjoyed their hospitality.
• Accidentally bumped into my highschool batchmate, Sharifa, at a certain birthday party where we had a shooting.
• First hosting job with a new katambayer, Ate Pen
• I learned that Paolo/Monkey guy had been telling some of our mutual friends  that we had a relationship before. This made me angry that I droped his name o FB.

February

• February 8 - hosted Lel Brothas Rock Middle East concert. I was criticized by some for letting Arab guests take pictures with me.  My sister actually scolded me in front of the producation team. Lol!
• Feb. 19 - I had my first virtual conversation with Patrick
• Photoshoot with my KT Family
• Reunited with my twinnie bestfriends, Joseph and Alyanna, at Pizza Company after 2 years
• KT shoot at COMSOFIL's awarding ceremony

March

• Kuya Tim and Brian returned to the sandbox
• Mjhae's Gift of Music. It was a birthday concert where we had our production number.
• First meeting with Doctor BJ Jurilla, a very chivalrous man
• An issue about Tito Nadz's sprouted. TFC Riyadh got entangled on the issue.

April

• Patrick, who I used to call Buko, had a vacation in the Philippines
• Gave into Gwiyomi craze. I made a video. Check this out: My Gwiyomi
• My parents did too - Gwiyomi Parents at Elchico
• KT shooting with the RED family
• Stopped exercing and began to munch all food I want
• Seifeldheen's birthday celebrated at home

May

• Ate Yayah's birthday
• The longest and warmest hug I got from winkie guy
• The whole family flew to Philippines on May 10 for a vacay.
• Patrick flew back to Riyadh on the 11th. We dint see each other. Lol!
• Mother's day
• Finally created an instagram account
• Met the whole production team of Kabayan Tambayan. Shot at Ilocos Norte with the Cardio Boys and Francis Pega. I got tanned... Big Time!
• Rode cray cray rides at Enchanted Kingdom
• Met some of my college chums and other pals
• Kabayan Tambayan 1st anniversary
• May 27-29 - First Asian tour. First 2 days were spent at Hongkong, last day was at Shen Zhen, China
• KT at Ilocos Norte Episode was aired - KT at Ilocos Norte
• A coffee tryst with Doctor BJ. He got to see our house in Pampanga.

June

• A serene summer getaway at Baguio
• Midnight hangout with CEU (all campus) former USC
• Came back to Riyadh
• Alas! Opted to change my passé Nokia & Sony Ericson phones to Samsung Galaxy S4
• Father's day
• On June 18, Patrick visited me at home. It was his birthday.
• Winkie guy held my hand. It was a goodbye touch, I guess.

July

• Saudi Arabian crackdown
• 2nd hangout with my twinnie bestfriends for this year. Alyanna shared her plan of working in the Philippines. She dint encourage me to do the same thing, but I wanted the idea too. So, I immediately told my parents about it once I got home.
• No coomunication with Daryl
• Shabu-shabu session with my TFC family
• Mama's birthday
• First kiss
• Tita Amy left IGEC

August

• Pre-birthday dinner at Holiday Inn with my family.
• My birthday. We threw a small party at home with family and friends.. Patrick gave me a watch.
• KT shooting at Al Yamama Hotel
• Iftar with twinnie bestfriends at Trader Vic's
• First good morning
• Reunited with my highschool classmates (Alyanna, Joseph, Dante, Hawie, Jesika)
• Attended and hosted lotsa events
• New admission officers

September

• Good times with RIS Babies (Alyanna, Joseph, Florence, Jed, Jesika, Everly)
• Ate Jhoy left IGEC
• Submitted my resignation letter to IGEC
• A big Howdee birthday party of Papa, Bubot, and Irah
• Booked a flight to Philippines
• A night out with CBFEB - bowling
• I was invited by Ma'am Alvarez to become one of the speakers for CEU Mass Communication Convocation, but I had to say no.

October

• My parents' anniversary celebrated at Buffalo
• Joined FuGen's Palarong Pinoy, held at Fantasy Land. Encountered a huge yellow python and took a pic with it.
• Media & Culture Club Riyadh invited me to host a concert, but I rejected it.
• A 2-day Eid rave
• My ex-boyfriend came back to Riyadh.
• Joseph and I were two of the judges during RIS Field Demonstration

November

• Nodded to be one of the models for Clicks of Hope. I was under RCA.
• Start of being a jobless babe
• Chili's with the Esponilla Family
• Kuya Jonjon and Ate Ezzel got engaged
• KT at PKR's Opening of Basketball League and shockingly saw Dan

December

• Made a lifetime mistake
• Touchdown Philippines
• Established the mini-mart. Yep! I became a vendor. Lol!
• CEU USC get together
• KT shoot at SM Pampanga
• A sombre Christmas
• Became one of the bridesmaids

Of course, I would not broach my sins and go into details. I hinted at it, notwithstanding.

We are about to sail on the 3rd quarter of the year. Unfortunately, there is no progress in my life yet. I am not getting any results, albeit I try hard. No matter how devastated I am now, I still want to end this with a hope.

I am struggling right now, yet striving. There may be times that I feel hopeless and helpless, but I still wake up happily every morning and I manage to thank God before I head to dreamland at night. I know I'll get through this real soon. I can't wait to be at the finish line.

A note of thanks to these good people:

• my family
• relatives
• Patrick
• Daryl and his family
• TFC (Kabayan Tambayan & Balitang Middle East)
• RIS family
• CEU family
• The Filipino Community in Riyadh
• Facebook Friends / Online Buddies
• IGEC
• Brian/Dan/Doc BJ/
• Bornalians

A heart full of thanks to Almighty Allah for giving me the strength to continue fighting.

 _____________________

 

See my other retrospectives:

 

2009 - "God made my 2009 a blissful year!!!"
2010 - "A Retrospective of 2010"
2011 - "Let's Revert to the Year 2011!"

2012 - "Review & Reflect Upon the Year 2012"

Boston

"Boston"

by: Augustana
 

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... she said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
She said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly him out to Spain...
Oh yeah and I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah...

Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Boston...
No one knows my name. 

Divert & Paint

While everyone is knotting and designing his/her loombands, I am busy dipping my brush onto the watercolor and applying the paint in different strokes on my pad. I paint.

 

 

I never imagined myself having a keen interest in art. Simply because I suck at it! I have an ugly penmanship, so never did I expect a beautiful artwork could be made. However, no exaggeration intended, my life becomes heavier day by day. Several doomed things happened and are still happening. Trying to be resilient, I'm distracting myself with something that can help me rid of these unwanted thoughts. Shockingly, I shifted my attention to painting. Well, a friend unintentionally yet positively influenced me.

I bought materials 5 days ago. These materials are reasonably for beginners only. Who knows I might build a passion for painting and eventually do a canvas painting? Haha! But I don't think so. Presently, watercolor painting is my expedient diversion move. Pictures below signify the association of my craft and what I've been feeling lately. Ok, nuff with those mushy lines! Haha!

 

WARNING: I'm a novice. Do not establish high expectations. (Lol!)
 

 

 

 

Clicks of Hope

How many alibis did I offer to photographers? Not to brag, I rejected a lot. Like what Ms. Susie Khalil said, taxes are virtually non-existent here in Saudi Arabia. Perhaps, this is one reason why each Filipino in the kingdom has his own DSLR and eventually engages himself in photography. Some even own different brands which come in different sizes. Some even have their own studios. I believe these camera-freaks seek subjects, be it for their portfolios or for fun. I am honoured to receive such invitation. However, I am not comfortable with it.

If you are an online buddy, you would notice I upload pictures of mine regularly. Sure you would think I love to pose in front of a camera... And that camera is mine. Seldom do I accept photoshoot invitations. Very seldom, as my family and I are uncomfortable with the idea of striking a pose over the heads of various photographers... unless there is a sense of purpose behind it. A meaningful purpose, to be exact. One of these is the "Clicks of Hope".

Clicks of Hope was a fund-raising project organized by Cameraderie last November 22, 2012. Riyadh photographers unified as one for the benefit of Typhoon Yolanda's victims. This project was able to raise approximately PHP 100,000.

It was a great experience! It is a good way to showcase one's talent while extending a hand. Good job, Filipinos!

Here are some photos taken by different photographers:

Credits to all photographers
Concept by: Riyadh Creative Artists

Stoned

Like what I've been doing for the past years, blogging has become my way of expressing myself without doing it by word of mouth. Silently voicing out, it is. I start a blog shedding tears, then it calms me as I type each word. My reliever.

I want to make this post creative. I want to use metaphoric language so it would not be easily perceived by whoever can put up with this stupid personal blog. So they won't have a hint what I am going through. But thinking of metaphor junks would torture me more. One simple thing. I am hurting. So much...

At this very moment, sleep does not want to welcome me. So many things are spinning in my head. Right at this very moment, I want to disappear. I want to be gone. Otherwise, just be a kid again. Can I be that again?

I wish I could zip into the past where my innocent mind makes the flow of life easier; When the only lie I could utter is a friend ate the pie, though it was really me; When the only sin I could commit is either littering or loitering; When toys are the only things I could play with; When the most painful thing I could ever feel is the bruise on my knee.

It is so different now. No more innocence, all wrongness. I can curse everyone. Lies are my favorite words. I still litter and loiter. I actually do both at the same time. I create trashes and throw them to a loved one. Toys are too mainstream perhaps, hence, I play with people's feelings. Do you know the most painful thing I felt? Heartbreak.

Yes, it was all my fault. I want to be a kid again, so I can stop myself from doing a lifetime mistake. I want to be a kid again, grow up, and become a good person. When I become one, I will search for him, wherever he is. And when I find him...I will just love him and will never hurt him.

If a time machine would have a hard time sending me back to my toddler years, might as well bring me back to February 2013. That's only a year ago. A bit easier, huh?

I may sound very stoned now, but a part of me is still aware that there is no probability of this idea at all. But not waking up anymore is possible and I think, hoping for it is just alright.

The Never-to-be-Forgotten El Nido

I was asked by Patrick which beach I want to spend my summer at - Palawan or Boracay. I would love to see Bora, but he had been there last 2013. I always want to visit a place where my companion and I are clueless about it. It would make the escape more exciting. Hence, I opted for Palawan.

The original plan was a 3-day stay at El Nido and only a day at Puerto Princesa. We encountered a few problems that we unfortunately had 2 flights separately booked. We asked various agencies and hotels to arrange our itinerary, but we weren't so lucky. We ended up sojourning at El Nido for 4 days.

From Manila, we landed at Puerto Princesa Airport on April 8. The weather was fine.  A van bound for El Nido welcomed us. We got on it right away. Pat and I slept, ate, and chitchatted the whole insipid trip. After 6 hours, we finally reached Four Seasons Hotel which we booked through Agoda. The hotel looked good, but we expected more from it. However, our beach-front room compensated for it. Fair enough.

We had dinner at Art café. Their food was a bit peculiar yet savory. They also had country band playing at one corner.

 

Second day was used up for island hopping. The sun was beautifully glowing. We hopped on and hopped off at 3 islands. Each island has its own beauty to offer. I was amazed how caves formed in limestone mountains. Beautiful, indeed! Coconut Island is my favorite among the islands you would see in there. I will not go into detail. Simply, I said yes.

We initially had no idea what we would do on our 3rd day in this paradise, until a tricycle driver suggested the twin beach and Bulalacao waterfalls. (Local government protects the business of local trike drivers.) Among the spots, Bulalacao waterfalls stood out. We needed to pass the mega dusty road and walk for 15 minutes so as to reach the falls. It was worth it! The water form is surrounded by several tall trees where the beams of sunlight shine through. Perfect way to dip without getting tanned. And hey! I am so proud to say that we had a 25-ft waterfall jump. Yup, I conquered acrophobia at one point in my life. Here, check on the video:

When the sun set, Patrick surprised me with a dinner by the beach. It was the most romantic moment I've had. Nuff with the cheesiness. Haha!

We headed back to Puerto Princess on the fourth day. Another 6-hour trip took place, of course. We flew back to manila afterwards.

I love El Nido. I love its natural beauty and its people's hospitality. It's just the inevitable abundance of sunlight and hot weather lessened my amusement. (No blame intended for it. It's just me.) On the other hand, I hope the local government formulates a plan to fix the roads, so other tourist spots would be accessible for all tourists. It sure would be of help to keep its tourism sustainable and even better.

Lastly, I thank Patrick for this wonderful and unforgettable escape.