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I lay in my bed, curled up on my side with knees tucked in. I bit my fingernails underneath the pink quilt. The noise of air conditioner covered my ears. Its sound was too strong, enough to distract me from thinking. But bother was gnawing away at the back of my mind.
I suddenly heard a heavy sigh. A small gesture was felt by the skin of my weakening arms. He sat at the edge of the bed. I did not hear a slamming door nor a footstep coming closer to me. But I knew who it was. "Woman, are you really that conceited," I heard a voice. I did not retort, neither took off the quilt.
I stopped biting my nails. I waited for the next word. None. My pride kicked. I did not let a single word spill out of my mouth. I felt him moving. He lay beside me in a supine position. The sound of air conditioner was all that could be heard. Until...
"What is it with you, Angela? You are being stubborn at times. Oh no! Your are always being like that. You get into a huff when you do not get what you want. You would not talk to me if I beat you in a play station game. What's even worse is... Often do you show your ire and I don't even know the reason. Then, I would find out the reason is... I forgot you to buy your favorite brownies or cookies. Just that! Never did your sluggishness annoy me. No matter how long I wait for you downstairs while you groom your hair, it is fine with me. But when it's me who arrives late at our meeting place, even when I'm only 2 minutes late, you automatically give me a tiger-stare. You would rant about my poor punctuality for a week. You would blame me for the not-so-delish pasta you eat at a bistro, when you're the one who ordered it. And most especially, you do not take things seriously. How insensitive," Tom emphasized.
A long silence dominated. My heart beat quickly. Did I feel guilty? Did I feel mad? Did I feel melancholic? I felt all of this. I was about to give a yelp of pain when I heard him say, "I know what's on your mind now. You are thinking that I never appreciated you. You feel like you never did good things for I only draw attention to your flaws. It seems to be that way, but it actually is not." He nestled his head near mine, placed a hand on my hips, and spoke, "I will not lie. You are a headache. You always pain me." My chest began to tighten as I repressed a salty liquid from my eyes. He deeply sighed. "But you are the sweetest pain. You are the only pain that could not kill. You are the pain that makes me alive. This pain is the reason why I want to wake up every morning. The pain that feeds my soul. An incongruous pain that makes me happy. An ironic pain that heals a heart," he continued.
His skin created warmth in me. He slowly took off the quilt. My eyes did not want to sight him, so I kept my eyes closed. He spoke, "I'm not asking you to change. It's just that I've been keeping this inside. Perhaps that's your way of showing your love, so be it. You would not be the girl I loved years ago, if you are not as that. And you would not be the girl who has been giving me happiness for so long, if you change."
A few more minutes, he gently lifted my chin up and whisperred, "Stay the same. I'm sorry for flaring up. I'm sorry." He hugged me tightly. I felt his very soft lips on my forehead.
A long silence dominated. My heart beat quickly. Did I feel guilty? Did I feel mad? Did I feel melancholic? I felt all of this. I was about to give a yelp of pain when I heard him say, "I know what's on your mind now. You are thinking that I never appreciated you. You feel like you never did good things for I only draw attention to your flaws. It seems to be that way, but it actually is not." He nestled his head near mine, placed a hand on my hips, and spoke, "I will not lie. You are a headache. You always pain me." My chest began to tighten as I repressed a salty liquid from my eyes. He deeply sighed. "But you are the sweetest pain. You are the only pain that could not kill. You are the pain that makes me alive. This pain is the reason why I want to wake up every morning. The pain that feeds my soul. An incongruous pain that makes me happy. An ironic pain that heals a heart," he continued.
His skin created warmth in me. He slowly took off the quilt. My eyes did not want to sight him, so I kept my eyes closed. He spoke, "I'm not asking you to change. It's just that I've been keeping this inside. Perhaps that's your way of showing your love, so be it. You would not be the girl I loved years ago, if you are not as that. And you would not be the girl who has been giving me happiness for so long, if you change."
A few more minutes, he gently lifted my chin up and whisperred, "Stay the same. I'm sorry for flaring up. I'm sorry." He hugged me tightly. I felt his very soft lips on my forehead.
I then realized... I am the pain in his bum and he is my serenity.
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