I've been believing that men and women are equal regardless of others considering our society patriarchal. What men do, women can do. What men have, women can have. What men get, women can get. I've been embracing this principle ever since... Not until I encountered a certain complicated scenario...
Before I hit the bell, I would like to tell readers that this issue could be corney, baloney, or whatsoever. But whatever reaction you'd give, I don't care. Haha! I just want to SHARE! So here...
Filipinos have a very humble and conservative tradition and I adopt it in some way. When a man desires an opposite sex, he performs the so-called "panliligaw" or courtship. He exerts effort and treat the woman like a queen as means to win her heart. Man is supposed to initiate the holy courtship, not the woman. But what if it's the other way around? What if the woman likes a guy? Should she make the first move? Is it wrong for a woman to propose courtship?
I was pursued by men before, like every girl experienced. If I don't like the guy, I courteously say it to him. But if I do, I tell him but I make him sweat it out. He has to exert and attest his wholeheartedness. Never did it happen that I was the one who showed my adoration towards a guy, though I did tweetums a bit when I was in high school. Lol!
Here's the thing... I have a girl friend who likes this particular guy so much. They talk and hangout, until the guy becomes special to her heart. However, he doesn't feel the same way and this makes my friend very sad. She asked me if it is alright to confess her admiration. I answered her with a BIG NO. She told me how she feels. She turns into a Drama Queen whenever she talks about him. She thinks life can be so unfair. She is a woman so she is supposed to shut up and just wait for a guy to like her. She uttered a line which captured me, "Yung mga lalake, maliligawan agad yung gusto nila. E pano naman tayong mga babae?" (Men could pursue girls they fancy. How about women?) I told her that she has to wait. Perhaps there is a reason he is not doing the initiative just yet. But if the guy doesn't really like her, she has no choice but to accept it. Then she responded "Girlfriends do not like their boyfriends at first. Their boyfriends courted them that's why they were able to prove themselves and eventually had become lovers. Why are women not allowed to prove themselves to win a man's heart?" She got me there. Out of the blue, I thought that there is one thing that women can never do but men can, and that is wooing.
I felt sad for my chum. I somehow felt that women lack power in that aspect. Though it may seem strange, it is not wrong for a woman to initiate. But since there is a standard to uphold, woman has to wait. And I personally believe that men must really be the one to do the courtship. It is basically because they have to meet challenges and be able to discover their manhood. If the woman does the thing, then man has no challenges to meet. If he gets it with ease, he may not value and give effort to the relationship as much.
To all of us girls, let us just wait for Mr. Right. Let us not look for him. Let him look for us. Let him treat us like Queens in dazzling castles! =)
Here's the thing... I have a girl friend who likes this particular guy so much. They talk and hangout, until the guy becomes special to her heart. However, he doesn't feel the same way and this makes my friend very sad. She asked me if it is alright to confess her admiration. I answered her with a BIG NO. She told me how she feels. She turns into a Drama Queen whenever she talks about him. She thinks life can be so unfair. She is a woman so she is supposed to shut up and just wait for a guy to like her. She uttered a line which captured me, "Yung mga lalake, maliligawan agad yung gusto nila. E pano naman tayong mga babae?" (Men could pursue girls they fancy. How about women?) I told her that she has to wait. Perhaps there is a reason he is not doing the initiative just yet. But if the guy doesn't really like her, she has no choice but to accept it. Then she responded "Girlfriends do not like their boyfriends at first. Their boyfriends courted them that's why they were able to prove themselves and eventually had become lovers. Why are women not allowed to prove themselves to win a man's heart?" She got me there. Out of the blue, I thought that there is one thing that women can never do but men can, and that is wooing.
I felt sad for my chum. I somehow felt that women lack power in that aspect. Though it may seem strange, it is not wrong for a woman to initiate. But since there is a standard to uphold, woman has to wait. And I personally believe that men must really be the one to do the courtship. It is basically because they have to meet challenges and be able to discover their manhood. If the woman does the thing, then man has no challenges to meet. If he gets it with ease, he may not value and give effort to the relationship as much.
To all of us girls, let us just wait for Mr. Right. Let us not look for him. Let him look for us. Let him treat us like Queens in dazzling castles! =)
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