Our Year

10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

You and I did the countdown. We both said hello to the year 2011 with our arms tied together. We heard a crackling and fireworks began to shoot up into the air. You whispered in my ears "Happy new year, baby" then kissed my forehead. The twinkling gave me inkling that year 2011 would be our year.

Yes. It has been our year. Our year to say farewell. This year tested us. Love and patience were put through paces. It was the rockiest stage we entered into. Rocks lying along the path were many and huge that we couldn't handle anymore.

Yes. It has been our year. Our year to achieve our own dreams, but not dreams of us as a couple. We both excel in our chosen field of endeavor and succeed in our selected career. You gained a trophy for playing a musical instrument and I gained a tiara from a certain pageant. Also, 3 months from now we'll be receiving college diploma. You amazed me how you create computer programs and build a website. And I know you're proud of me each time I do public speaking with confidence.

Yes. It has been our year. Our year to grow as an individual.  We've been through a lot of challenges which made us understand obscure things and complicated feelings. You are no longer my beau and I am no longer your girl. We ended the romance, but we learned several lessons from it.

Few more hours and I'll be rolling out the red carpet for 2012. It may appear like you will not be a part of it anymore. But with all honesty... you will always be a part of every new year that will arrive because you'll forever be in my heart and mind.

Men Take the Lead

I've been believing that men and women are equal regardless of others considering our society patriarchal. What men do, women can do. What men have, women can have. What men get, women can get. I've been embracing this principle ever since... Not until I encountered a certain complicated scenario...

Before I hit the bell, I would like to tell readers that this issue could be corney, baloney, or whatsoever. But whatever reaction you'd give, I don't care. Haha!  I just want to SHARE! So here...

Filipinos have a very humble and conservative tradition and I adopt it in some way. When a man desires an opposite sex, he performs the so-called "panliligaw" or courtship. He exerts effort and treat the woman like a queen as means to win her heart. Man is supposed to initiate the holy courtship, not the woman. But what if it's the other way around? What if the woman likes a guy? Should she make the first move? Is it wrong for a woman to propose courtship?

I was pursued by men before, like every girl experienced. If I don't like the guy, I courteously say it to him. But if I do, I tell him but I make him sweat it out. He has to exert and attest his wholeheartedness. Never did it happen that I was the one who showed my adoration towards a guy, though I did tweetums a bit when I was in high school. Lol!

Here's the thing... I have a girl friend who likes this particular guy so much. They talk and hangout, until the guy becomes special to her heart. However, he doesn't feel the same way and this makes my friend very sad. She asked me if it is alright to confess her admiration. I answered her with a BIG NO. She told me how she feels. She turns into a Drama Queen whenever she talks about him. She thinks life can be so unfair. She is a woman so she is supposed to shut up and just wait for a guy to like her. She uttered a line which captured me, "Yung mga lalake, maliligawan agad yung gusto nila. E pano naman tayong mga babae?" (Men could pursue girls they fancy. How about women?) I told her that she has to wait. Perhaps there is a reason he is not doing the initiative just yet. But if the guy doesn't really like her, she has no choice but to accept it. Then she responded "Girlfriends do not like their boyfriends at first. Their boyfriends courted them that's why they were able to prove themselves and eventually had become lovers. Why are women not allowed to prove themselves to win a man's heart?" She got me there. Out of the blue, I thought that there is one thing that women can never do but men can, and that is wooing.

I felt sad for my chum. I somehow felt that women lack power in that aspect. Though it may seem strange, it is not wrong for a woman to initiate. But since there is a standard to uphold, woman has to wait. And I personally believe that men must really be the one to do the courtship. It is basically because they have to meet challenges and be able to discover their manhood. If the woman does the thing, then man has no challenges to meet. If he gets it with ease, he may not value and give effort to the relationship as much.

To all of us girls, let us just wait for Mr. Right. Let us not look for him. Let him look for us. Let him treat us like Queens in dazzling castles! =)

Taken Aback

I was so bored and tired at the office last night. So I opted to text him. I told him I wanted to gobble sweet brownies ‘coz of stress. After 3 hours, I received a message from him and said “Hinanap ko ABS-CBN building. Baba ka. I bought something for you”. I didn’t know what to respond. He came all the way from South just to hand me this super-short-term craving. Max’s brownies and a stress pillow to kill stress. Haha. We weren’t able to have dinner because my training ended at 7-ish in the morning.

Probably, I was 20 steps closer to the finish line of this “moving on” road race. And now, it seems like I’m running backward. -_-

Stuck In An Elevator With You

I was sitting inside a car, looking from afar, feeling the coldness, and pinning back my ears to a certain radio station. All of a sudden, engaging words from the radio DJ passed through my ears... "If you could get stuck in an elevator with anyone you want, who would it be? And what are the things you would do?"

Honestly, I didn't have to thoroughly think of an answer because one person popped up in my mind right away... It was HIM. If I could get stuck in an elevator with anybody, that would be the man I really adore.

This guy who caught my eyes is a 90% stranger to me. I only know wee details about him like everybody does, and most of them are flimsy seems like the personal information section of a resume. I've been hearing piece of information about him. There is one not-so-deep info I learned, but I do think it's not enough. It doesn't satisfy my interest in him at all. Hence, this is the reason why he is the first person that comes to mind when I heard the intriguing question of the disc jockey. I want to know him more and hear it directly from him.

I imagine myself and him sitting face to face on the elevator floor. Probably, I would start to ask queries at random. If he likes to share things with me, my pleasure! But honestly, I would love to learn new facts about him; his family, studies, weaknesses, strengths, dreams, future plans, heartaches, happy days, hobbies, everything! Even the grossest and craziest things about him are welcome. And if he does, I would just stare at his countenance and incessantly listen to all things he reveals. Certainly, each fresh fact goes straight to my mind and heart. I don't care if ever he doesn't ask anything concerning me. I would just be all ears.

Another reason why I choose to be trapped with him is the assurance that he would not desolate me nor let me feel scared inside the lift. If I turn my head towards him and tell him I'm scared, he would utter no words, but shows me don't-be-scared and you-can-make-it gestures. Sure, he would not be selfish and only save himself from being trapped. He is not that kind of guy, as far as I know. He would find a solution to escape while making me comfortable and helping me keep my composure. He is very gentlemanly.

If it's time to escape... the moment we step out of the stranded elevator, I would heartily thank him. And lastly, I would hug him. Yes, I would do that. I would take that chance before we part ways and become 100% strangers again.

In the Arms of My Best Friend

Every living soul meets his friends in this world. And among those friends, there is this one person whom you consider as the most special. And we call that "most special friend"... BEST FRIEND.

I have a best friend for almost 5 years. He is always there for me in spite of the distance between us. We seldom see each other. We meet every month, that makes a total of 12 meetings in one year. It's pretty jaw-dropping how we were able to build friendship when we only gather 12 days out of 365 days. Nonetheless, cellphone and internet play a big role to us. These two are our ways to constantly communicate with each other. We talk on the phone from sunset 'til the sun rises.

Hanging out with my best friend is the highlight of every month. Insomnia attacks me the night before the day we meet. It seems like it is always the biggest day of my life. And the moment he comes into view, he never forgets to throw his killer smile at me. That just makes my heart melt! OMG! I feel like running towards him and give him a bear hug. My fave past time with him is plainly going on a road trip with a seemingly non-existing destination. Even the dullest street on earth would turn into a colorful one when the chauffeur is your best friend. Goofing around and munching all day are also on the list.

This person sure is fun-to-be-with, but that is not the sole thing I like about him. He understands me. I could tell him random things about me without being misinterpreted. I could enumerate every stuff I own, from my cheapest accessory to the luxurious gadget, without receiving negative impression from him. If I would do that in front of others, they would certainly think I brag too much. Good listener, he is. He listens to all things I share, whether it be small talk or rant or even baloney ones. He knows every single thing about me. A good listener who keeps secret, a good listener who gives significant advice.

I feel comfortable around him. I could make poker face and he would say I am still beautiful. I could spill chocolate shake on my pink shirt and get stain and he would say I am clumsy yet cute. I could make my feet stinky and he would laugh at me but would not be disgusted.

Patience and composure - he always has these two in his pocket. We love cracking jokes and jestingly insulting each other. He doesn't get irritated easily and barely loses his temper. But when I am caught on the hook, he apologizes and kisses my forehead even if it is my fault. And I appreciate that so much!

My best buddy is my stress reliever. He has the power to convert dreary days to fascinating ones. And no matter how pressured I am, just one touch of his hand, I become cheered.

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Presently, these do not exist anymore. Each sentence is on a simple present form. I intentionally created it that way because I want these things to be in existence again. I terribly miss my best friend! Sadly, I just had to end it due to variety of reasons. We may not last the friendship but I still feel lucky that he was once a best friend of mine and contributed several meaningful memories and lessons to my life.

It was nice meeting you.

Did I ever cross your mind? Did you ever talk about me with friends? Have you stared at me long enough to see how amazing I could be? 3 simple things for everyone but seem to be impossible on your part.

This time I don't want to be deceitful, like I deceive every time you are beside me. Pretending as if I do not enjoy every moment I am with you, but I do. Every action you do, I scrutinize like a hawk. I secretly gaze at your lips while it spills a word. Word produced by a well-tuned voice. Stably I watch your eyes as you have far-off look and wish that you would bat an eye. But when you do, either I bow down my head or divert my eyes and ostensibly blush. I feel enchanted whenever you ask question about me, making me feel that you're interested in me. Butterflies begin to glide in my stomach each time I see you from afar and everything appears to move slowly when we literally meet each other halfway. The knight-errant of your hands gently hold mine as you guide me walking on a craggy terrain. You just don't know how you make me feel beautiful. Tons of people utter compliment about me, but yours are the sweetest. Therefore, I accept them with good grace. 

Air, I am only that to you. You feel my presence in your skin but you don't care. Pragmatic, that is.

I adore you. I do. I really do. And I'm aware that these wishes scampering in my head like a roller coaster are beyond the boundary of possibility. Hence, I will take joy in every juncture that we are together. This journey will eventually disappear like a snap. But before it has to end and become strangers again, let me tell you this... IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.

Hailed as "Pulutan Queen"

Do I rave in the bar? Yes, I do.

Do I dementedly dance on the dance floor? Yes, I do.

Do I scream out loud inside the place? Yes, I do.

Do I drink beer? No, I don't. But I eat all the finger food served at the table. =D

with my Mr. and Ms. CEU 2012 co-candidates @ Music Bank

I do party with friends. And yes, I dance and eat with them. They drink liquor while I gobble the finger food. Haha!

I guess, I was 18 when I realized that "inuman" is different from "kainan". Seriously... I had to observe my friends action before I actually thought of it. Drinkers talk about random things or share anything as they consume the bottle of alcohol. A friend told me that consuming alcohol drinks like a flash would likewise  ruin the bonding moment like a shot. It is because drinkers would be intoxicated too soon and may lose his sense. I used to wonder why boozers are annoyed to a person who eats a lot but drinks a little amount of beer. Well, I think I still interrogate that til now. The only answer I could give to myself is the first sentence of this paragraph. And I'm not convinced. I need to contemplate more. =D

with Akson Ngayon-DZMM staff @ Garahe

I had a hilarious experience. I was chilling with a new set of buddies. They were the Aksyon Ngayon - DZMM family. I believe they were shocked to know that I don't drink. They saw me how I ate up all the appetizers/finger food and was given an iced tea by the waiter. They mocked me and Neil, a gay friend, shouted "And the Best in Pulutan award goes to" then pointed at me. Hahaha... This was not my first time to be called as "Pulutan Queen". I was called as one many times.

Me, Neil, Maine

I wanna see myself drunk regardless of my hatred in the taste of alcohol. Lolz! All joking aside. I'm serious. I wanna know how too much intake of alcohol would affect my behavior. I wanna feel how painful hangover is. But the question is, how am I gonna experience that if I ain't trying at all? Haha! Mom and dad would send me to hell if I do so. I'm just curious! =D

Lucky am I to have friends who barely force me to try alcohol and let me just munch during the whole chilling session. And before I end my blog, I would like to clarify things. I am not the party girl people assume I am, nor a girl who drinks. I really don't. Controlling myself is not my sword, I just extremely hate its taste. Don't get me wrong here. Neither do I brag nor be hypocrite and pretend like an angel from heaven. I have nothing against alcohol and drinkers for nobody knows... I might do the same deed the next day. It's just that I have this feeling, this kind of impression brings negative feedback on my parents, particularly on my father who is a Muslim. So, just respect my principle. Haha! =)

Thanks for reading! =)

Outside My Experience

I walk along the long street of Maryland without feeling merry at all. Where is the beige painted wall? Where is the pink comfy bed? I cannot hear the booming laughter of children. Neither a music coming from a pink netbook that brings relaxation every night. Phineas and Ferb no longer goof around the room. How about those tasty food and refreshing juices prepared by an uncle who cooks like a pro-chef?

@ ABS-CBN Global

These things are nowhere to be seen today and tonight. Every object I hold is strange. Every wall I lean on is unknown. Every face I meet is unfamiliar. Every street I walk onto is unexplored.

@ ABS-CBN Global

My training in ABS-CBN has begun. Nervousness did not exist in my vocabulary list the moment I stepped on the furnished floor of our office. I don't know. That's what I felt! My stay there is fine though it's pretty boring sometimes. I have no close friends yet. My bosses are affable and colleagues are friendly for they smile at me every time I bump into them. I have no problem in any way, so far. Fortunate I am because some of my classmates likewise work at the network, on other department though. So we possibly meet or munch together during lunch time / break time. Not to mention, I am friends with their bosses too and was able to bond with them. Haha!

with the Aksyon Ngayon-DZMM family @ Garahe

I am living an independent life, as I conjure up an image of myself now and understand the scenario. I live in a dormitory (in Maryland street) with various professional women and one gay call center agent. Well, he is considered as a woman technically. No... by heart! Haha! Our landlady is aptly caring. I am the youngest among them which makes me feel like a youngest sister by their warm treatment.

with my classmates @ Garahe

Everything sails smoothly, I may say. I benefit from this for I learn how to be self-determining. But honestly, I don't feel happiness with this set up, so do my parents and guardians. They regularly check on me and my parents make overseas call, only to make sure I am safe. If you ask the reason behind staying in Manila... It would be more dangerous if I drive myself home (in Pampanga) every night.

ABS-CBN building is surrounded by bunch of restaurants and bars. The colorful moving lights and lively music I hear give me sadness. I walk alongside those resto bars as I go in search of my car, and then I would whisper, "My super friends and I will certainly enjoy this place". The environment is just perfect to chill at with my super friends. And ugh! They are not with me. I have problem which only appears every night and that is WHERE-TO-HAVE-DINNER. It is a problem for me because I kinda feel awkward each time I eat in a resto alone and some diners stare at me. There was one night I had my dinner at ChicBoy. It's a good restaurant but there were few tables seated by guests who drank liquor. I just felt uneasy. Due to my stay in Manila, no one's there to cook yummy food for me. It's either I go to a fast food or some fine dining restos. And I'm sick of it. It hella gives me craving for sardines, tuyo, dilis, longanisa, and the like. My schedule for my training is deadly, like what I've written on my previous blog. It is tiring, making me want to sleep for one whole day. Tiredness is seen on me; weight loss, darker eye circles, slim cheeks. I appear like a 30-year-old lady. (-_-)

Despite the hardship I carry on my shoulder, I still want to take it positively. I convince myself that it is only a challenge and I will be able to hand my parents a diploma afterwhich. And I try to enjoy every single of it as much as I can for this is a once in a lifetime experience. A new out-of-the-country vacay (not in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia) is waiting for me. I can't wait! =)

No Quitting

Hurting feet from long-distance driving; puffy and buggy eyes from sleepless nights; squashed mind from overthinking; and weakening and slimming body from busyness... All were obtained due to loads of commitment I carry. Neither do I hate nor regret that I devote myself to these for I look upon them as blessings. It is just that my body and mind feel like quitting.

My on-the-job-training will start this Tuesday. Deadly schedule is what I got. I am assigned in ABS-CBN TFC's Balitang Middle East. Hence, the production follows the time there. Philippine is 5-6 hours ahead of Middle East countries. Monday is considered as day-off. During Tuesdays and Wednesdays, my work starts at 2 pm and ends at 8 pm. I need to be in the office at 2 pm on Thursdays til 7 am of Fridays. Na-uh! You read it right. 17-hour work then imma rush to CEU - Malolos Bulacan for my 11:30 class. Also, I have my classes during Saturdays. My boss did not command me to have this toxic schedule. I accepted it because I want to accomplish it as early as possible. Not to mention, that is only for my 120-hour TV OJT. I still have to deal with my 100-hour radio OJT.

It doesn't end there. I joined a competition and there was no reason to ignore the opportunity. Honored is how I feel to be chosen as a representative of a university. That's why I accepted this commitment, once more. For this, we are required to attend rehearsal every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at CEU - Mendiola Manila. Since we are located in Malolos Bulacan, our adviser and USC president opted to only show up on chosen crucial dates. And this is extremely terrible! C'mon! I drive from north to south followed by executing catwalk for 2-3 hours straight with my 5-inch heels, expect me to drive myself home? Fortunately, I'm with a newly-met friend who knows how to drive. Yehey! Hahaha... Do you know what makes my journey in this competition easy-peasy? It is the support of my school and the people. For instance, Ma'am Ponce gives us advises... no... the best advice rather. Keith, Clarence, Kuya Paolo and Kuya Windsor have been so kind and generous to me.

I was with Kuya Paolo and Kuya Windsor last Friday for a photoshoot. It's funny that no matter how sleepy and exhausted I was, everything seemed to be just fine. It's prolly because of Kuya Pao's wittiness and Kuya Windsor's chivalry.

Because of my situation, my parents are worried about my health and my safety when I travel back and forth between Pampanga and Manila. Hopefully, I'm gonna find a shelter around ABS-CBN building.

So tired I feel towards the end of the day, but I'm having fun. Partly because it makes me forget a particular problem and of course it's worth it. I meet different people, gain new friends, showcase my skills, broaden my horizons, and appreciate folks around me. And hey! This is my last semester of college, so I must treasure every moment of it...

Two Different Hearts

He wore blue shirt. She wore pink dress.

He put on his slip-on shoes. She put on her doll shoes.

He carried a back bag. She carried a shoulder bag.

He put a monocolor tattoo. She put a colorful make-up.

He collected gadgets. She collected accessories.

He was into music. She was into fashion.

He excelled in programming. She excelled in broadcasting.

He watched sci-fi and action. She watched drama and romance.

He drank beer and smoked cigar. She drank shake and avoided smokers.

He partied hard at home. She studied hard at home.

He was addicted to gaming. She was addicted to blogging.

He was High. She was Sedate.

Different ways of grooming never became a hitch.

Different interests never became a hitch.

Different mood never became a hitch.

Different dreams never became a hitch.

Diversity makes romance rip-roaring every so often,

That makes it more passionate or even the warmest,

For you have a go to understand and accept each other.

But multitude of diversity turned out to be adversity.

Breathe in, breathe out, silence...

Wanting to linger the tender feeling in all sincerity,

Both were longanimous in the face of adversity

Strong enough to love for a thousand years.

He took a turn in the uptown.

She made her way to the downtown.

Escaping the pain, erasing the memories.

A cry of anguish burst as they parted ways.

He was like this. She was like that.

No matter how different they are,

It is just amazing how two hearts once found each other

In a world filled with ambivalence and difference.

Sail Smoothly

This is the sequel of my blog "Nothing beats the feeling of being w/ my family!".

A 20-day vacation in Riyadh was too quick. I am currently in the Philippines. Homesickness sure exists. After I flew back here, I immediately arranged all the requirement for our On-the-Job-Training (OJT), attended a rehearsal for a certain pageant, and managed my evaluation papers for graduation. But luckily, I was able to pamper myself in a salon.

My last semester in college seems to be tough. Gobs of commitments are in my hands and need to be accomplished before March. Everything's sailing smoothly so far. =) My only fuss right now is my weight. I'm getting thinner. I'm knocking myself out to eat bunch of food. But I can't. No appetite! Perhaps because I think of stuff which are not worth-thinking-of but they inevitably pop out from my mind. Argh!

I'll just update my blog from time to time. I hope everything will continuously sail this way. =)

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Lemme share some photos taken at Ketchup resto in Riyadh. :)

One of a Kind Professor

"Ang sarap sa pakiramdam na maraming tao ang ayaw ka pa ring mag-retire. Hindi yung pag masama ka, ang sasabihin nila sa'yo 'bat ngayon lang? Dapat noon ka pa nag-retire." ~ Director Ed Villarante

Knowledge about production and advertising was acquired for almost a year. It was taught by our great professor, Director Ed Villarante. We call this very responsible professor "Direk Ed", actually everyone does. He was able to create this name because of his excellence he demonstrated during the hey day of Channel 4.

Before we met him, we were already hearing positive feedback about him from higher level students who used to be Direk Ed's students. Hence, we thought highly of him. On our first class, he shared with us the experience he had, from uphill 'til the pinnacle of his career. Common yet inspiring is what we can describe his story. It is common in a way that it is like other directors' story wherein he started out as a untility man (if i'm not mistaken) 'til he became a known director. A person needs to pass all stages or all the positions in a production before he becomes a director. On the other hand, it is inspiring for he never gave up on his dreams. He endured the challenge of production, and not to mention even the foul mouth of other people. He was one of the people behind NBN Channel 4's success. After being a director, he decided to come back in teaching. He used to be a teacher before he entered the industry. And again, because of his virtuosity, he became Centro Escolar University's Mass Communication Coordinator.

If you wonder why I make a blog regarding a professor... The reason is I also want you to be uplifted by my professor's story and I believe that this is one way of saluting his excellency.

Direk Ed will be retiring this coming December. A part of my heart melted when I learned it during AD Fest 2011. I was crying while watching a tribute video presentation for the professor, most especially it was played with the song "Thank You". My classmates asked me why I was crying. However, there was nothing new on my friends' part for they knew I easily get move by that kind of thing. Lol! =D

I am very much happy for our director because he will retire as he holds the respect and appreciation from his friends, colleagues, and students. But there is sadness too because we are going to miss him. =( I remember what he jokingly said in his speech after he eyed the tribute video, "Alam nyo, pakiramdam ko malapit na ko pumanaw". Hahaha... Direk Ed is a serious-type but he can be a joker at times.

Direk Ed did not only taught us about production and advertising, but learning that are unseen on books as well. Not only knowledge, but wisdom. He surely says good values before he ends a class. The advice he gave us that I would never forget was "always love your parents and consider their sacrifices."

On our last class day, he uttered a very profound statement and that is written above this blog.

His whole life was spent educating pupils, building a quality education for CEU, creating ideal flick, and touching many lives. Director Ed Villarante can now make himself at home and chill out with her mom.

Rest assured that everything he has taught us will forever stay in our hearts and mind and will be our gear to be successful in our career.

THANK YOU, DIREK ED!!!

Nothing beats the feeling of being w/ my family!

I was kicking my butt off with bunch of school works for almost 5 months. Could you imagine how I survived 2 theses and 1 advertising all at the same instant? How did I pull through traveling back and forth between Pampanga and Manila everyday? I survived simply because I wanted to make my family proud of me and wanted to bring good stories when I get back in Riyadh.

Camid Family

After all the pressure and efforts I unleashed, I am unwinding with my family at last! No wonder. I verily find peace of mind when I'm with them. Stress-free! I mean, far from school works, far from Philippine's pollution, far from various problems... Just pure joy. Oh how I missed my family so much! I miss my mom's cooking, dad's jokes, 2 nephews' naughtiness, and my 2 sisters' kaartihan.

Alamada family

My mom and dad celebrated their 30th anniversary on 26th of October. The family's complete and so the happiness is double.. or make it TRIPLE! =D

We love you mama and papa!

Surely I've eaten Riyadh's famous food by now, shawarma and kabsa. These 2 can now be found in Philippines too, but Riyadh's has the best taste! Shopping would never be forgotten, of course. I already have my things-to-buy list.

I'm never too old for this ride. :))

I'm gonna stay here for few weeks only, not gonna reach a month. Yes, it's too quick! I won't be able to stay here for ages because second semester starts soon and many requirements and commitments are waiting for me in the Philippines, especially am a graduating student. Therefore, before I fully devote myself with those, I'mma make the most out of my stay here in the sandbox.

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Check out my previous summer vacation 2011 in Riyadh:

http://annizahcamid.blogspot.com/2011/04/hello-riyadh-its-nice-to-be-back.html

Worthless Tattoo

Your name is tattooed in my heart and mind
Because I believed you were one of a kind
That every girl would truly love to find
Only to find out, this belief just made me blind.

Now, I'm loathing the feeling
Making me believe that you're not lying.
You told me everything would be known
And that promises would never be thrown.

It feels like I'm pricking myself with a needle
Just to put a tattoo in the middle.
It is true that "to forget you" is all I want
But unloving you seems to be hard-to-dunt.

I can never wipe off this tattoo
Which can be considered as a stain too.
I believe that one day I would wake up
Asking, "what is this worthless tattoo that showed up?"

Overlook

You suddenly popped out somewhere
Search my mind and you see yourself nowhere.
That was the thing happening before
But things are not the same anymore.

Though your brag and jokes are hard to handle
You don't know that you still make me giggle.
Wishing that before I did not overlook
A guy who feels he has an average look.

I hope that one day we meet each other
So that my mind would stop to bother
Thinking "what kind of a guy are you"
Now tell me, if it's too late to notice you.

Maybe You'll Notice

It's twelve thirty and my eyes are still open

I'm thinking of you like I can't think of you tommorow

When will you notice this good-for-nothing man

Maybe I should research if potions really work

I want to sit in front of you and watch you singin' song

And hope that even for a second, your eyes will meet mine

I guess you'll never notice me if I remain your average guy

So I will find a way to make myself shine

What should I do? What should I do?

What should I do? What should I do?

Maybe you'll notice me when I become a rockstar

Maybe you'll notice me if I just know some magic tricks

Maybe you'll notice me if I would own a sports car

Or maybe you'll notice me when I'm severely sick

~Pepetot

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P.S. This was made by a kindhearted and hopeless romantic guy, I may say. Hahaha... According to him, he made this when I inspired him. I dunno what he meant by that. Lolz! Not to mention, this was a half done song lyrics. He wasn't able to finish it due to a funny reason. Well even so, I'm still impressed and touched. Thank you, *you know who you are*! :)

Annizah is an Achiever

I may say that the first letter of my name stands for "achiever". Neither do I swagger here nor exaggerate things. I only want to share the products of my hard work and determination.

The month of August has always been good to me mainly because it is my birth month. I received tons of birthday greetings and wonderful gifts from various people. But this year is strikingly different. Our documentary Sigaw ng Marilao, which we used as an entry for  TV Fest 2011 in CEU Mendiola, had a chance to compete with other documentaries made by students from other prestigious universities in the country. It was created by the Ulan Production and members were Pia Jeanne Teaño, Avery De Castro, Heart Yapcoy, Halley Ferrer, Melo Del Rosario, and I. You may click this link, Sigaw ng Marilao, to have some idea about our documentary.

"Sigaw ng Marilao" was ranked 3rd in the International Center for Communication Studies - Manila Documentary Making. This was really unexpected for the reason that 16 universities joined the competition, like UP, DLSU-D, DLSU-Lipa, SLU, Sacred Heart Lucena, PLM, Mirriam College, and many more. Competing with these schools made us think that we would not make it, even on top 5. Moreover, we passed through many barriers. For instance, we had to consult and ask permission from our dean, coordinators, and CEU Vice President. However, God is always good to us. We were able to withstand the hitch and achieved the bronze award.

We also gained more knowledge and realization about our future profession. Several radio and TV personalities were invited to give us lecture about media namely Jay Taruc, Ed Lingao, Maria Ressa, Maki Pulido, Mark Salazar, Susan Enriquez, Love Anover, Chiara Zambrano, and other journalists. Among the guests, I only took picture with Mr. Anthony Taberna. I really like him coz he's prolly one of the most credible journalists nowadays. He's so kind and sweet-smelling. He used "po" and "opo" when we conversed with him.

Another extraordinary accomplishment I had was the 1st-runner up title in Mr. & Ms. CEU SportsFest 2011. I did not bring home the title but I considered it as a big accomplishment, in a way that a lot of people believed in my prowess and I received positive feedback from people who are from different colleges after the competition. Not to mention,  I joined Ms. CELAS 2 years ago and wasn't able to make it. Traditionally, a candidate has to win in Ms. CELAS first before she could compete in Ms. CEU SportsFest. Last year, some invited me to join Ms. CELAS again but I refused. Kinda shy! :D And this year, our dean and other CELAS professors asked me to be the representative of CELAS for Ms. CEU SportsFest 2011, there would be no Ms. CELAS anymore.

It was a great opportunity, I admit. I sought advice from family and friends. I asked them if it's emberassing to be the representative after not winning Ms. CELAS. They told me, there's nothing to be embarassed about for it only means that I deserve to be one. Hence, I grabbed the opportunity. After all, every opportunity is a blessing. As long as you hurt no one, go for it. Due to my principle, I succeeded!

Hard work and determination are very much needed but of course, a person would not succeed without the support of his/her loved ones. Hence, I am thanking everyone who supports me on every journey I take. I would like to thank my CELAS and CEU families for trusting and cheering me on; my circle of friends who guided me while my family is abroad; my family who supported and prayed for me; and most especially God. I thank Him for all the blessings He has been showering me.

I'm not through absorbing this experience and feeling the triumph yet, here comes another blessing. It will prolly be a big fight for me. You'll know it next semester.

See yah on my next journey!

People w/ golden hearts follow the golden rule.

There are still few people in this world with golden hearts.

On the day of my birthday, August 2, my friends and I had lunch at McDonald's. Afterwards, we went back to school. The whole day I was calm knowing that everything's in place. Before the clock struck 3, we were asked to take a photocopy of our worksheet. That was the time I learned that my wallet was gone.

I was struck with dismay. I looked for it. I searched my bag and checked on my wallet inside my car. I couldn't see it. Luckily, a tourism classmate lent me 20 pesos so I could have my own copy.

I wasn't that worried. Really... The reason was, last night I opted to use my brown wallet to match my brown bag. =D No ID's! No ATM cards! So if ever I wouldn't be able to find it, I would lost P 120.00 only. It wasn't a big deal, honestly. But of course, it would be much better if I would have it back.

I rushed myself to McDonald's after class and asked a crew immediately. I wasn't expecting my wallet was with them, only hoping. I gave a bit of detail about what happened and a description of my wallet. I waited for a few minutes. And... HURRAH!!! =) I saw the crew carrying my brown wallet. Yay! They kept it. No one stole it! A big smile was seen on my face. I wanted to jump and shout. Lolz! =))

My lost and found wallet! :P

It was unbelievably staggering! I know that P 120.00 ain't big. But who would think that poverty and temptation in today's world, there are still people who have golden hearts. Like they never thought this way "Let's pinch it. It's only P 120.00 after all. Not a big amount!". I was truly amazed! I hope everyone is like them. They do follow and respect the golden rule, "Do not do unto others what you do not want others do unto you".

So to all McDonald's employees.... I SALUTE YOU! =)

Unlike or Dislike?

I ain't no English major nor speaking English fluently. And I admit, as a Filipino who grew up speaking Kapampangan and Tagalog, I have my grammar flaws. However, I am determined to learn and rectify my mistakes. That's why I'm taking up Mass Communication now. Proud to say, I'm improving and learning a lot. :)


Anyway... The purpose of this blog is to share what I observe on Facebook. I notice most people say "UNLIKE" if they do not like something posted on Facebook, instead of "DISLIKE". As far as my knowledge is concern, "Unlike" is different from "Dislike". UNLIKE" means you stop liking what you previously liked while "DISLIKE" means something you loathe.


Hope this helps! :)

Easy As It Is

Relationship is like a car. It needs to be geared up by the owner and be equipped with proper tools before traveling and be able to use it for years and years. And once the person enters the car, he has to be ready. The driver doesn't just sit back and relax, then he enjoys the ride. No, it isn't like that. He has to operate the wheels. He encounters different things as he travels along the street; traffic, reckless drivers, bad or good weather and many more. It is up to him how he handles those challenges. If he drives hastily, his car may crash. But if he drives smoothly, he can reach his desired place safe and with his car intact.

Just as relationship... Two persons have to be equipped with love, trust, fidelity, and the like before entering an affair. As they go through it, they inevitably battle with different challenges and rocky stages. If they pass all challenges, they will definitely end up together. Driving is attached with traffic rules to obey and relationship is attached with rules to follow and limitations to consider.

Every relationship is high-maintenance. It requires dozens of effort and tolerance. Both parties must contribute. On its first stage, it feels like utopia. No probbies, just pure bliss. But as time passes by, everything turns to be heavy. Various emotions turn up; sadness, jealousy, hatred, anger, and happiness. These emotions are perceived when things happened. The couple feels sadness when they part ways and miss each other; jealousy when one is too close to another opposite sex; hatred when one forgets anniversary or any special occasion; anger when one becomes unfaithful; and they would be the happiest couple if they grow old together. =)

Relationship may be hard to keep up. But sometimes, it is only the couple who makes things difficult and complicated. The time is perfect and all things they need are in their hands, but they still create problems out of nothing. For instance, the never-ending cheating issue. The typical scenario in our society, boys cheat on their girls. Boys' cliche reason is what they call their "nature". They say "We are just human; weak and get seduced." Grounds are not acceptable. God gave us free will to be able to think of and choose the right one. So why cheat? Hence, they choose to cheat, not their nature choose to cheat. The so-called "nature" is a mere defense mechanism.

If a couple wants to last their relationship, they have to look straight. no swagging. Trust your partner. Be loyal. Take care of him/her. Love one another. And be consistent. Lemme see if you won't end up together. =) It's fine if things or other people try to ruin your romance, just don't let yourselves ruin it. Instead, you build it. It's much better to hear the phrase "you and me against the world" rather than "you versus me in a perfect world".

Taking care of a relationship is easy as counting 1,2,3. Just don't let harsh things and heartless people come your way, neither get destructed by yourself. A little kid can count, and so can you. Start from zero 'til you reach infinity... As in being with him/her with no end....


P.S. After I wrote everything, I just realized... I used too much METAPHOR. Hahaha... :D I just got this idea from the "Prom" movie.  Thanks for reading! :)

Blissful Busy Bee

Cinemalaya @ CCP

It's been a month since I last updated my blog. Many things are keeping me busy this semester.

Month of July is so memorable and meaningful. A lot of things happened and are continuously happening. I can say that I am growing into an independent woman one way or another and it's better for I'm turning 20 (read as TWENTEEN) after 4 days.

Our housemaid is no longer working at home due to some hush-hush reasons but a new maid will come next week. Hence, Uncle June (my guardian) and I are living unassisted for more than a week. We are both doing some of the household chores. There is one woman who visits every Sunday to do the washing of clothes. My uncle cooks and I wash the dishes. I also sweep the floor and organize furniture. Honestly, I have one worry. I fear that my hands will be annoyingly rough. I don't mean to be "maarte" nor be indolent. In fact, I enjoy cleaning and love to learn doing house jobs for I will be using this experience in the future. It's just that my parents and I have been taking caring of my soft hands and so I wanna maintain it. Who doesn't want soft hands, right? :) Before, our housemaid was the one who woke me up. I couldn't get off my bed unless someone would force me. But hey! Now I can jump off my bed on time. I set my alarm clock before I sleep. I am improving, ain't I? :D

As I go through this, I feel that I am ready to live on my own, not being away from my family whom I love so much. I mean I'll be working after college to earn a living. There is no assurance if I will work in Riyadh and live under the same roof with them. I might work here in the Philippines or in other places. Therefore, I'll be doing things by myself. However, there are two tough things which I really need to learn and master. Cooking and washing clothes. Effort is very much necessary to accomplish this. Hahaha...

Loads of school works are in my hands right now; 2 undergraduate researches, requirements for AdBest, documentary competition, and other school stuff. I must accomplish these in 5 months. This is my last year in college and so I'm really doing my best no matter how brain-squeezing it is. :)

Hardships are attached with blessings. (well, hardship itself is a blessing.) Yes, I maybe suffering from too much school pressure but there are things that give me relief. Like, the documentary we produced last semester was chosen by Centro Escolar University to join the International Center for Communication Studies. ICCS is one of the biggest organization for future practitioners of the communication profession. The org will choose 3 from many documentaries made by different universities and those 3 will be competing in Hongkong on November. Win or lose, still a blessing! And of course, people around me who never leave me. They take all the hard knocks away from me and help me get through with this. :)

Soon to graduate...

Freshmen, sophomore, and junior years... 3 years of holding the bag of hardship, but with a pocketful of hope. And finally, I'm on my 4th and last year of college.

Before I actually became a 4th year college student, I've been to a lot of struggle. I entered college on its second semester due to some visa and iqama problem I had back in Riyadh. That's why I've been an irregular student since day 1. I had a hard time choosing what subjects to get as there were some prerequisite ones and limited units to use.

It was really hard at first, especially my classmates have known each other already and I was a complete stranger at the corner of the classroom. OMG! Making friends with them never became a problem because they were all nice and I know myself, I could bond with them. The sole trouble was whenever there were announcement to the class outside the room, I would not be informed immediately. No one knew my phone number. Lolz!

I definitely mingled with a lot of students with different courses. I became part of the Pre-dentistry, HRM, Marketing, Finance, Tourism, Accounting, and Psychology classes. There was one semester wherein I had a 6-hour-break, or should I say vacancy. It was terrible! Where would I spend those hours? Luckily, I had Kate with me. She's a very good friend, a Mass Communication student, and an irregular student like me. We had the same schedule for the day. We would go to the library, would do shopping, would rove around the vicinity, and sometimes would go to their house for a movie-marathon.

Throughout those years, there was heaviness in me. I was expecting to graduate in 2012. However, the fact that I came to college during 2nd semester, there was uncertainty if I would graduate in that year or would extend. Of course, graduating earlier is much better. =)

Months before June 2011, I was unduly worried. I was wondering if I would be allow to overload so that I could get my 2 back subjects. And if so, I could become a senior student and would be qualified to graduate next year. I was praying wholeheartedly every night, asking God to give me what I deserve.

On the 13th of June... Alhamdullilah! I was able to get my 2 back subjects. Our adviser, Ma'am Alvarez, told me that I will be a regular 4th year student next semester in fullness of time. OMG! I was shaking and controlling my tears while she was encoding. I was unstoppably thanking God in my mind and was so excited to bring the news to my parents. I feel like wanting to jump and jump! Haha. I wanted to explode, really...

In the Holy Qur'an, there is a quote which inspires me every time. "God helps those who persevere.” I, myself, have proved it is true. If a person gives his all in every goal and never surrenders, God helps him 'til the end come what may. God probably saw my endeavor and how I struggled every semester, hence, He gave me what I wished for which was to graduate by 2012. And I am sure He knows how much I want to repay and help my parents as early as possible. On the first week of class, 2 research/theses and advertising were being assigned to me, but with groupmates of course. If you would think, a common student has to do one thesis in one semester. And I, being an irregular student and taking back subjects, will be doing 2. I will really do my best, though it will be tough.

Here I am now... I am ready to hand my diploma. =) I know many unexpected circumstance might happen along the path. But come to think of it, I've been working hard for this. Am I to give up now? Definitely NOT!  After 9 months, I'm gonna make my family even more proud of me. I'm ready for whatever blessings and challenges God might give me this semester. No room for giving up. I'm one step closer to my dream.

I would like to thank everyone who made this possible and supported me all the way; Dean Roces, Ma'am Alvarez, Ma'am De Jesus, other faculty members, my classmates, my friends, my family, and most especially God. I won't fail you, guys! I promise! ❤❤❤

We are the BOSSES, not my DAD!

Father is the BOSS at home... Many people say that. But in our case, rephrase it! For my dad, WE ARE HIS BOSSES! Find out why! *winks*

"Papa", that's what I call him. I don't utter this word as much as I do with "mama". I don't share many personal matter with him, especially girly ones. Perhaps because of gender difference, it makes me shy. Hence, I prefer to open up to my mom. But nevertheless, I know that his arms are open for me and he is ready to listen anytime. Sometimes, he gives me advices out of the blue and my jaw would just drop. Startled to know that he knows what is inside my mind and heart. And I appreciate it so much. As a father, he knows when is the time his child needs him. My father and I always talk to each other, especially during family bonding, but we never talk about deeper and privy things. For instance, my love life. He never said a word about it, yet I know his action nudges me and indicates something, like "Hey! Don't be sad. We're here for you".

My father is a knight in shining armor, I may say. He does everything for his family. Don't try to mess up with us, or my dad will break your head! =D I kid you not! He works hard to earn a living and gives us all we need, luxuries are included. Lolz! =D He makes the life of Riley for us. After his long day at the office, he still manages to help my mom do the household chores. He can wash and iron the clothes, can cook, can wash the dishes, everything! Most especially when my mom doesn't feel well. A responsible house husband, indeed!

What makes me truly proud of him is his religiousness. He is a religious Muslim. He never fails to pray 5 times a day and perform the 5 pillars. Some people conclude he is not because his wife and 3 daughters have different way of living; we don't wear the proper clothing, we do not pray 5 times a day, and the like. My mom was brought up in a Christian society for her parents are Catholic and my father respects that with all his heart. He did not force us to be part of the tradition. He always says that as long as our heart is pure and believes in God, God is with us. We are not like any other people who follow the tradition, but commit mistakes/crimes every time. However, he has some rules for us and keeps on reminding us; always pray and  it must be from our hearts, help other people, never do crime, and have faith in God. :)

I always tell myself that I want to marry someone like my father. Not to have a father-figure hubby, but to spend my life with a guy whom I know will be a great better half and a responsible father to our future kids. Because that is what my father is... A great husband to my mom and a responsible father to his children and grandchildren as well.

Now you know who are the real bosses in our house. My father treats us as his bosses, simply because he puts us first in everything he does. =)

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Papa, even though I might not say... I appreciate all the things you do. Richly blessed is how we feel having a father just like you. Happy Father's Day, Papa! Thank you for being the greatest father in this world. Happy father's day and we love you so much. =)