FA Sruggle

It's been 3 months since the last time I posted a blog. And now, I'm back... For the meantime, I guess???

I have a lot of things in mind. I have so many stories to tell. I have several ideas to share. I have all this that I could post on my blog page. But I'd rather sleep than do so. But this time, I sense the need to log in to my blogger account and compose anything!

I've been working this dream job for almost a year now. I would say that I'm deeply grateful about it. However, as I work, I feel like I'm losing something piecemeal. Please don't get me wrong. I am not underestimating my job. Definitely, not! It is totally tough to be a flight attendant. It's just that I feel like my knowledge has been lagging behind the curve.

I was an honor student back then. I graduated with a bachelor's degree in Mass Communication. We did role plays, news reports, journals, articles, commercials, prints, etc. This course basically requires creativity. Let me add "good memorization"- this is for all the dialogues and scripts I memorized for role playing, hosting, and news reporting. Humbly, I did a pretty good job. My first job was in the office. I dealt and conversed with professional people from different countries thru e-mail. All of this gave me growth in every aspect of my life.

Presently, I am living out of the suitcase. Like what my colleague's status says,  "Eat. Sleep. Fly. Repeat." This is so me. This is my life. But hey! I don't mind doing this everyday. I don't complain at all. But I find it so weird and baffling. I'm having a hard time putting my ideas into words. I have lost my creativity. I cannot memorize scripts perfectly. I tend to lose my train of thought in the middle of conversation. I find it hard to explain stuffs. I was a valedictorian before but now I feel like I am a slow-learner during our training class. My ability to understand and absorb topics/lessons rapidly is not what it used to be. Things just have not been the same. Why do I feel like I'm becoming less and less intelligent? Is it because my life became routine and I don't experience new things? Is it because of the physical demands, roster shifts, and long working hours? Is it because of the pressure and artificial oxygen I breathe in? Do these factors affect my intellect? Moreover, I cannot speak English fluently and articulately anymore. It could be because most of our guests' on board native language is not English. I have to use the simplest words or even mix English with their languages. I don't put the blame on my guests nor the nature of my work. I am just wondering why I feel this way and worried at the same time. Really...

I need to figure this out. I seek advice. Anyone?