I Ain't Bad

"I AM A MUSLIM", I say and people give me confusing look. They showered me with "For real?" question. I cannot blame them. The way I dress is definitely not a way Muslim woman should dress. You sure ask "Why is that?".

My mom is a Catholic while dad is a very religious Muslim. Apparently, there is a huge difference between these 2 religions, particularly their traditions and beliefs. Be that as it may, my parents brought me up well. Judgmental people think I am liberated. But I AM NOT. You may see me wearing shirt and shorts, instead of abaya and hijab (Muslim clothes). You see me joining pageantry with swimwear portion. However, I tell you, drugs, alcohol, and cigars never passed through my hands. The clothes I have on do not bespeak the beauty of my heart. Also, I celebrate Christmas and Eid, but I follow Halal diet. 

My parents tenderly raised me to believe that ALL OF US HAVE ONE GOD WHO CREATED US AND WHOM WE PRAISE. We only vary from how we call Him and how we sing Him our praises. It is like, each of us are walking on different paths, but all these paths will lead us to only one direction, and that is God. Mom and dad frequently remind me of the 2 significant rules I've been hearing ever since I was a kid; first, pray from the bottom of your heart; and second, ignore hurting others' feelings and doing crime. Two short rules but when you follow, a peaceful and blissful life would be obtained.

I know a lot of you do not comprehend this set up or my way of living and find it so puzzling. That is fine with me. Think what you want of me... But I tell you, I AIN'T A BAD PERSON.

Never cease the friendship, but never be like them.

Yes, you guys own cool cars, have the latest gadgets, and dwell in an expensive village. But did you know those are not basis of victory? C'mon! Those aren't your possession at all 'coz no single coin came from you... ever! Face the mirror and realize you guys haven't hammered out yet. Neither did prove anything for yourself. How could you say you're fulfilled when you spend your nights boozing or playing baloney PC games? How could you brag when you are lying on your couch all day 'coz you have no papers to deal with? How could you attach success with your name when you got D on you report card and haven't experienced marching with the black gown on yet?

To you, Mister! I resent you for you carry them all the time. I resent you for copying their acts. I resent you for you always aim at those guys whose future careers are on the rocks. Why do you need to equal with them when you know you could do better than them and be more successful?

As they say, birds of the same feather, flock together. Right! A person befriends people who have the same personality as him because that makes them bring together. Good to know, MY FRIENDS are on the right track. I see ourselves as triumphant ladies 5 years from now.

Mister, if you pursue that act... I tell you... See yourself as a professional TAMBAY with your drunkard friends 2 years from now.

Call me "BRAGGART", but I call you a...

________

P.S. Sorry for being mean here. I just despise people who waste all their blessings in life and abuse their parents' kindness and trust.

Dear Sir Daryl,

"I don't like him" - These were the first words my mouth spilled out when I first met you. You sure knew the reason... But when I got along with you during Mr. and Ms. CEU 2012, I realized how kind-hearted person you were. I could count the times I hung with you on my fingers, but could never count all things you taught me.

Very HILARIOUS, it was, but you were the only person who said my singing voice resembles Mariah Carey's. I wanted to roll out laughing, but to be honest, that boosted my confidence. I've been disliking this husky manly voice, just so you know. You were such an intelligent and a talented person. Hence, there was no doubt you were a good mentor, choreographer, and a professor. You unselfishly shared your learnings with many people and even touched their lives through your inspiring stories and words.

Remember the time when we unwinded at this particular wine bar in QC? I was able to know you more. Perhaps you were already drunk that you couldn't stop yourself from narrating your life and love stories. You even mentioned why you were called "Sam" instead of "Daryl". How about when some of the candidates spent night at your place? Did you know I felt you were like a mom to us? We woke up with delicious breakfast placed on the table. I appreciate each time you inboxed me on Facebook just to say "Bakla, I miss you".

When I learned the news about you, I got shocked, felt sad, and cried but sought help from Him. It felt bad that I wasn't able to visit you at the hospital. Neither did see you before you opted to finally be with Him.

Sir Sam, thank you for being a good teacher and a thoughtful friend. Few memories we had yet will definitely be cherished.

I'm gonna miss you, Sir Daryl. And I am happy for you because you are now with your first love, Sam, and with our Almighty God. I love you, Sir!

Love,

Annizah

Employment Arena

Who would think that I could actually be an employed person only after a week of job hunting? Bragging, you say? Na-uh! This is the reason my parents brought me here right after I finished college.

My parents are aware of how scanty job offers are in the Philippines and how many millions of students graduate every year. It would take a month or more before you receive job interviews. They did not need to inject this slight note of reality into me because I myself know that getting a job there is like getting a blood out of stone.

You may say I ain't competitive enough for I chose to walk on an easy path, instead of vying for a job position with millions of fresh graduates. But I say... Not! Saudi Arabia is a rich country that gives livelihood to several Filipinos. It is easy to find your business here but not easy to work with other races whose personalities are unfamiliar. In fact, working abroad means lucking through. You are going out of your comfort zone which is the Philippines. No one knows if you would succeed or not. One more reason for working here is practicality. Why choose to be open-mouthed as you wait for calls from companies if there is an open door waiting for you? And of course, I want to help my parents in our expenses as early as possible. That is a meaningful reason that pushed me to seek job here. So voila! I am now an overseas Filipino worker in the kingdom.

When I received my first salary, my heart beat (past tense) fast that I was shaking as the man handed me the moolah. The feeling of receiving salary you work hard for is way different to receiving a TF. You know how much sweat and blood you sacrifice just to gain it. Wanna know how I spent my first salary?

When a typical childless unmarried person receives his salary, he sure buys the latest gadget. Well, I am not typical. I only bought an Ab King Pro (hoping I can get a flat abdomen. lol!) and did a so-so shopping spree. Moreover, I brought my whole fam bam to a restaurant. Then the rest of my money went to my little sister's bank account. It is alright to put some money for indulgence. But I will never use most of it for dispensable stuff. I have many plans for my future and family's. Hence, I think twice before I execute a certain act.

Life is too short. I have 10 years to achieve all my dreams and goals before I settle down and start my own family. And I am sure, God is with me all throughout! :)

Prayer

Dear God,

I am taking every pin that pricks my heart wholeheartedly for I know this is Your way of giving me might. And in the end, I believe that You would give me the saviour who will bestow warmth in my frail heart.

Thank You, Oh God...

Cordially,
A.C.

Relinquish

She is not a party tigress and a drinker, neither a smoker nor a girl with tats.

She has no fiery bod that she could confidently flaunt on social media,

Not even an oozing cleavage to get a hundred of likes from boys.

Often does she act like a smart lass, that is why she could be a pain in the ass.

You may have feelings for her, but definitely not the kind of girl you would be proud of.

Simply because she is not cool, fun, and hot, unlike girls you give thumbs up to.

But I tell you what, this girl you don't cherish will soon relinquish...
Maybe not the love... But YOU...

***

I don't care.

I have no hair bangs and no eyeliner on the inner rims.

I ain't gorgeous? I don't care.

I just let my hair fall down freely and let my eyes twinkle without any ornaments.

I don't wear 2-piece and post sexy photos on Facebook.

I ain't hot? I don't care.

I just want to be well-regarded.

I don't booze.

I ain't fun? I don't care.

I just don't want to get sick someday and regret it all my life.

I don't tattoo myself with indelible ink.

I ain't cool? I don't care.

I just express myself through writings.

I am not a musical instrument player.

I ain't bodacious? I don't care.

I just listen to music and give it admiration.

I don't curse and I seldom mouth street words.

I ain't mega? I don't care.

I just try to get rid of words that could possibly outrage friends.

I am not pretty and admirable in your eyes.

You ain't gratified? I don't care.

I just show who I really am and you don't matter at all.