I've been loving a person for a decade already. He's my high school sweetheart. I was 15 and he was 16 when we started the romance back in our senior high in Riyadh. It was not actually a good start. We kept our relationship a secret, but we took the wraps off when we finally got our parents' approval. We graduated from high school together.
At first, we thought what we had was just a "puppy love" and that we would eventually break up. But our love was strong. We wanted to be together, so we continued our relationship and head off to college. We did long distance for 6 months, with me staying in Riyadh and him, beginning his college life in the Philippines. It was for a short while but tough. After 6 months, the long distance became a semi-long distance because he lives in south (Cavite) and I live in north (Pampanga). Additionally, my parents allowed us to see once a month only, so we could focus on our studies. That means, we got to spend 12 different days together out of 365 days.
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| High School Graduation |
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| College Graduation Pictures |
Our college years were the best years. We witnessed each other's awkward stage (my braces and clownish makeup and his punk-rock hairstyle), but learned to embrace it and fell in love even more. We discovered new things together. We excitedly explored and ventured. We snuck just to be together. We made sure that our monthly meeting is special. It was full of surprises. This was the phase where we commenced planning and building our future together. We talked about our garden wedding with American Mouth's "Flightless Bird" playing in the background, living in our 2-story house with 2 dogs, the musical instruments he will play with our 2 kids named Blue Franco and Misty Pink, and the car that he will buy for our family. We were full of dreams and hopes. We fought over petty things, but learned a lot from each other and admired how much progress we've made since we were teenagers. We saw each other graduate college.
"High school sweethearts" was just one of several things we were to each other. We became best friends, each other's number 1 fan and cheerleaders, hero and heroine, partners, and soulmates.
Things were going great until we stepped into adulthood. I got lost...
People inevitably change. Our wants, needs and perspectives on life changed. We started experiencing major conflicts. We stopped dreaming together
One day, we just woke up as completely different persons.
The story about our decade of love ended lest year... Well, technically, it did few years back. I just did not want to close the book. Simply, because I love him. But now, there's no more reason to continue writing our story.
This month of May could've been our 10th year anniversary. It would've been a date in Maldives. This could've been a special month for the both of us. But this month, we called it quits.
Currently, I am hurting... So much. He is my stone but now I am left alone. I do not know where and how to start. I don't even know if I will ever get over this.
To my high school sweet heart, to you Daryl... Happy (supposed to be) 10th anniversary. I hope and pray that you'll be happy with her.
You’re going to get past this. You’re going to see that fabled rainbow after the storm.
ReplyDeleteI can’t tell you that the journey is not going to be painful, because it will be. It definitely won’t be easy. There will be countless times when you’ll wake up feeling the rays of the sun warming your skin and looking forward to what the day has to offer. But there will also be those days, more often than not, where you won’t even have the energy to open your eyes because once you do, you’ll have to go through yet another day with the pain in your heart. You’ll feel like you have to pretend that everything is picture perfect.
I can’t tell you that moving on will be quick, either. It won’t. Do take your time and if you need to grieve for months, then so be it. Don’t pay attention to what other people are going to think. Moving on is different for everyone. You need as much time as you need to move on, considering the pain you’ve already been through. Don’t try to numb that pain. Don’t pretend it’s not there. Accept it. Embrace it.
I’m not saying you should constantly cry over him, nor that you should spend the day brooding. It’s just that it is easier accepting what you’re going through than numbing the pain because once you feel it, hell — it’s going to hurt a whole lot more.
Ate Annie. Always remember Good women are for good men. Be patient. Let the time and the breathtaking views, manners, cultures, faces of each country you land heal your heart. Allah loves the As-sabirin.
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