Monday, December 30, 2013

'Tis the season...

'Tis the season to be beautiful, to have a shopping binge, and to meet friends. But I'd rather surf the net while I chomp wafer sticks with my pyjamas on.
 
Everyone is prepping for the holidays (Christmas and New Year).  I saw my aunts having cooked sumptuous food, my uncles having decorated their houses, and my cousins having tried out their new clothes. Whereas, I see on Facebook that my friends hang out here and there.
 
I've been here in the Philippines for almost 4 weeks already. My mission here has not veritably started yet for I have to return to Saudi Arabia by February for a resident visa renewal purpose. This causes deferment. What's keeping me busy now is the small business invested by my mom. It is only a  mini-mart which was built by the generous hands of my Uncle June. I have planned to commit myself to handling it personally for the whole month of December, that I rejected several hangout invitations from friends and even ditched CEU Alumni Homecoming. So here I am, spending my whole day talking to customers and selling goods.
 
Small business, it is, but it injects me with a strong dose of stress. Each day I spend inside this mart makes me want to spew. There are even times that I feel depressed and miserable. It is simply because this is not  my cup of tea nor my preferred bread and butter. I do not know if I am just being jerk, but doing this everyday changes my outlook in life. Worse... it changes negatively. I become more desperate and a bit of depressed. What makes me go on is hearing my mom's joyous laughter as I tell her about the store.
 
2013 will end soon. I can see 2014 waving hello. I try my hardest to end the year with positive vibes, but that is not how I feel. I do not want to be dishonest with myself. I am unhappy. Thankfully, I have my family and friends who always pulls both ends of my lips.

I will leave it all to God...

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