"Moving on" - is just a simple phrase in English subject but considered a tough process by those who love. It consists of two words but a person has to say it a hundred times before he finally does. A person can easily say these words but gotta spill a bucket of tears before he can perform it. And I speak about relationship here. Certain I am that each of us has experienced this because everyone has a heart that loved and eventually got hurt.
Basically, "moving on" starts to strike your mind when there is a lot of pain and I mean too much pain. You do not do this for no reason or just want to do so. You do it because you have to. You struggle then find ALL WAYS on how to succeed. I will not cry for attention here. I just want to share crazy stuff I've been through during this process.
A 5-year-old romance is definitely not plain sailing that I could just leave and forget. He and I shared many memories and dreams together but caused each other so much pain at the same time. We tried to save the relationship because love existed. However, it came to a point where we could no longer meet halfway. So, I decided to go in a different direction. I did... but there was a part of me hoping we get back together. It took me quite a few months to cut out the string. I controlled myself from calling him, answering his calls. sending him messages, replying to his, and stalking him on Facebook. Long chitchats with him used to be part of my daily routine, thus, it was really hard at first. It was hurting me big time that I found myself crying in front of my colleagues (including our supervisor) inside the office thrice. And one day, I was weeping in front of my parents while summarizing our story. Even a song would have the power to move me to tears. Embarrassing it is, but is part of this process to be dealt with. Yes, it hurts to let go of a person you've been wanting to be forever with. But I have no choice. I have to...
It's been almost 3 months since I last talked to him. I kid you not, I feel fulfilled. Ditching a person whom you love is very challenging and painful without question. I know more heartaches will come one of these days. That is why I am still keeping my fingers crossed and praying for more strength. Hopefully, people who unconsciously cheer me up will always be 2 steps behind me. And they are...
