Bliss

Beautiful full moon, warm winds from the east, and a blue running lake... A very very serene paradise.This is just a perfect place and a right time to sit beside you and lay my head on your shoulder. No words need to be spoken. Just listening to each other's heartbeat as we wait for the clock to strike 12 would surely bring us colossal bliss.

Let us both say farewell to 2012, and say hello to 2013 with our hands tied together. It is a new year, a new beginning.

(Another digital drawing I made. Lemme just remind you that I am a novice and just having fun.)

Elusion

Years have passed but her feet are still standing in this place...

The place where he and she first uttered the word "hello",

The place where they had their first dance,

The place where he first touched her forehead with his lips,

The place where dreams were first made,

The place where vows were first heard,

And the place where their tears first fell...

Consistently standing for several years,

Firm little feet are losing their might.

That - she cannot wait for it.

Please be frail and elude the place soon.

(P.S. I drew and digitally painted the picture. NOOB ALERT, I know, but I am proud of my art. =D How would you interpret this picture?)

Inconsistent Effort

Firstly, I blog. I don't show off po. Thank you po! :)
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Some days I'm on the go and other times I don't give a hoot. Like any other people who seek a good body shape, I'm struggling...

I am not wishing for a perfect body shape. Neither do I dream of gaining the physique of a Victoria Secret Angel. A flat abdomen is all I want. I don't need abs. I don't need to be ripped. I just want to be healthy and fit and at the same time, sit without getting fat rolls. For this reason, I exercise at home. I bought some fitness equipment. I used to go to the gym, but when I started to hold down a job, I lacked the time to hit the place. If I have the strength and wee hours, I do the session. Anyway, I ain't giving advice here. This lady with big hips is not in the right shoe to do that. Like what I always do, I share my experience.

It was hard at first and is getting even harder day by day because I was advised not to settle for the same routine. I need to make those exercises intense gradually and progressively. For instance, I began doing the planks and squats 3 days ago. Presently, my legs hurt big time! It ain't easy.

There were few things that I had to sacrifice, like my fave food binge. I stopped consuming white rice, especially during lunch and dinner. I take brown rice every breakfast to boost energy. Getting rid of chocolates and ice cream is the hardest part for a person with a sweet-tooth like me. Before, dessert had to be served after meal. Now, I try to munch only 4 chocolate bars in a month and soy milk is my second course. By the way, I am now trying to eat veggies which usually make me throw up. Kudos to me!

Neither do I want to be skinny nor voluptuous. I like to be buxom but with a flat tummy. Currently, my biggest hitches are my love handles and lower abdomen. Unfortunately, I ain't giving my 100%. There are days that I am totally free but my bed seems softly pulling me back. This is probably the reason why I just got thin and muscles toned up only a bit. Sometimes, I browse my old photos and/or join blogs/articles online to be motivated.

I know, I will accomplish this goal. I just need extra effort and self-discipline. I'll keep my fingers crossed until December 2013.

(Sorry, not in workout clothes. This is the best thing about exercising at home, you can wear any kind of clothing. This picture doesn't show my hips because they are kinda annoying. I swear.)

Check on my previous blog and see "before" picture: Can I have you back?

Kuya Timmy Tummy

 

His almond-shaped eyes are always joyful. He loves his curly hair as much as he loves the roller-coaster-loop of life. Everyone gets tamed once he flexes the muscles of his flubby cheeks.

He is into photography and the talent is really amazing. I don't consider his works as a "simple art", but I see them as "life", unable to move for the time freezes. All images seem to be vérité. His hands are magical. He can capture your visage at its best.

Yes, he is not like other boys who are tall and hunky but he can do everything they can, except for one thing - hurt a woman's heart. He will never ever do this. He has a big respect for every girl he meets. Like me... He treats me like a princess in a red kirtle.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KUYA TIMMY TUMMY! WE LOVE YOU!

Threshold of Chance

My door has been opened for a long time, waiting for a changed man to step in. Some gentlemen knocked. They wanted to cross the threshold of chances but no one received a nod

Autumn came. Clovers withered. No one has seen your shadow.

Winter is here. Cold wind continuously entering my room. The cold nippiness freezes my flesh and bones but does not benumb my beating heart. Your warm caress is what I need, not this dark trench coat draped around me.

But my dearest, I can no longer stay inside. I should be the one to cross the threshold and go. New season will come soon. Sun will shine. Clovers will blossom. People will waltz around. And I want to be joyous. I have to... I deserve to have my life back.

Farewell, my dear.

Thanksgiving 2012

I work as an admission officer who interacts with different universities in United States of America. This gives me ideas of the events/occasions/holidays being celebrated in the country and one of them is "Thanksgiving". Since I deal with American folks, I want to go with this hip and hype and of course, this is a great chance to thank people who are/were part of this year. Here are some of them...

I am thankful for my family; my parents, 2 sisters, and 2 nephews. Ever since I was welcomed to this world, never did I feel I am alone. Unconditional love is always what I receive from them. They are my number 1 henchmen.

I am thankful for my relatives, especially Uncle June. They are the ones who substitute my parents every time I stay in the Philippines. They stand like my moms, dads, and siblings whenever I miss being home. They contributed to my success in attaining my diploma.

I am thankful for my friends, especially my Super Friends. We have shared several teenage experiences. I was able to learn the real meaning of friendship because of them. No pretension, no jealousy, no competition, there is misunderstanding, but sisterly love lingers.

I am thankful for Daryl. It was an awesome, romantic, painful, and fun ride with him. There were lots of butterflies and lessons. We are now walking in opposite directions, yet memories cling to life.

I am thankful for my TFC family. I felt that I have this second home where I could run to each time this environment throws severe stress at me.

I am thankful for my IGEC and workmates. In just 6 short months, I gained a lot of learning and am still growing. Our office is not just a working arena for me, but it is a school where there are educators and chums.

I am thankful for the opportunities, like the pageants and shows I joined. These are not something I could brag about, but something that could remind me of my hard work and people who stood up beside me.

And of course, I would not have a reason to be thankful if not because of our greatest God. He is the one whom I could think of every time I inhale the air of life. THANK YOU!

Thank you for reading! Have a blessed day, like I always have.

Mistletoe Guy

My feet had a race with each other in no direction. I just wanted to escape from it. I was running while carrying a pricked heart. I ran as fast as I could until... I noticed a man standing under a mistletoe. I stopped in front of him. His tantalizing eyes and lips were familiar. It was him! I toppled my body towards him. He opened his warm arms to catch me. I hugged him tightly. My ears could hear his vehement heartbeat. I suddenly felt a single tear streaming down my cheek. A single tear caused by a million pain that struck my bosom. He caressed my hair with his right hand and softly whispered...

"Kung gaano ka kadaling mahalin, ganun naman kahirap mahalin ng taong mahal mo".

Handsome, tall, fragrant, cool, name it... This mistletoe guy has it! He would definitely get the crowd's eyes once he enters the room. Thus, you cannot blame girls for looking up to him. But behind the fanciable face, he is still considered a typical guy. A guy who hops to the bar to hit the booze and goes home drunk. He sometimes feels lazy doing either assignments or chores. He fights with other men and curses. But he has this certain personality that makes him out of the ordinary. A personality that every girl's parents would approve of. He respects women... A LOT!

(Question: Which of these 2 pictures will you give thumbs up to?)

Show these two pictures, this mistletoe guy sure would grab the first one.

That is what makes him different from the rest. He is not like any other men that when a Facebook profile picture is all about the "cleavage", they either automatically click the "like" button or add her on the friends list. Mistletoe guy does not take everything at physical value. He would rather give his 2 thumbs up to a girl who wears no make up, just shirt and jeans. He always holds chivalry in his hands. He shows it to every lady he meets. If you accidentally drop your thing, he helps you. I witnessed him assisting a girl, whom he doesn't know, as she stepped out of the public vehicle. I saw him carrying our professor's bag. He opens the door for me. He asks me to wear his jacket. Wait... If you think, he does these to flirt with women... lemme give you noogie. He can get the most voluptuous and prettiest girl in town yet he chooses not to. Reason? He respects his mom and sister. You can judge a man's personality through how he treats his own flesh and blood.  Also, he loves her girlfriend to bits.

Mistletoe guy and I became friends for a few months only. But those months were very exceptional. Every moment I spent with him seems to be files saved on external hard drive that I always check on over and over and never wanted to be deleted. He cracks jokes but his thoughts and ideas on things in general are very layered and deep. Hence, all words I heard from his lips hang in the air. I wish every guy had this character as him. If this happens, every girl would cry, not because of pain... but because of felicity...

O my mistletoe man, where art thou? I miss thee...

What’s stopping us?

Secretly gazing until eyes meet halfway,

“Speak”, two hearts whisper,

But lips are stiff that couldn't say the word “Hi”,

Heads bow down, nothing to do but sigh,

What’s stopping us?

The crescent moon dazzles,

The stars irradiate our faces,

We want to dance underneath the beautiful sky,

But we think it’s better not to ply,

What’s stopping us?

You leave a note on my crimson bed every night,

Telling me you always wish you had the might,

If women could just take the lead freely,

Then I would love to sing you a song dearly,

What’s stopping us?

If Romeo and Juliet ended up together,

Though haplessness of the world is in their shoulder,

Why don’t we embrace this lovely moment,

While there are no walls on the pavement?

What’s stopping us?

One night,  breeze takes us to the shore,

But sound of the wave fades as our hearts pulsate more,

We have waited for this twinkling,

Oh please, let us get rid of escaping,

What’s stopping us?

You hold my hand as you step closer,

I feel your breath getting warmer,

Eye to eye, heart to heart,

Oh why those hearts are wounded?

What’s stopping us?

Wounds from yesteryear,

Yes, they still exist,

Hearts are still unwrapped,

Uncertainty is answered,

This is stopping us.

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P.S. I may not be a good poem maker, but please read between the lines. This ain't about my former beau. Alrightie?! Thank you for reading! :)

Officially Moving On

"Moving on" - is just a simple phrase in English subject but considered a tough process by those who love. It consists of two words but a person has to say it a hundred times before he finally does. A person can easily say these words but gotta spill a bucket of tears before he can perform it. And I speak about relationship here. Certain I am that each of us has experienced this because everyone has a heart that loved and eventually got hurt.

Basically, "moving on" starts to strike your mind when there is a lot of pain and I mean too much pain. You do not do this for no reason or just want to do so. You do it because you have to. You struggle then find ALL WAYS on how to succeed. I will not cry for attention here. I just want to share crazy stuff I've been through during this process.

A 5-year-old romance is definitely not plain sailing that I could just leave and forget. He and I shared many memories and dreams together but caused each other so much pain at the same time. We tried to save the relationship because love existed. However, it came to a point where we could no longer meet halfway. So, I decided to go in a different direction. I did... but there was a part of me hoping we get back together. It took me quite a few months to cut out the string. I controlled myself from calling him, answering his calls. sending him messages, replying to his, and stalking him on Facebook. Long chitchats with him used to be part of my daily routine, thus, it was really hard at first. It was hurting me big time that I found myself crying in front of my colleagues (including our supervisor) inside the office thrice. And one day, I was weeping in front of my parents while summarizing our story. Even a song would have the power to move me to tears. Embarrassing it is, but is part of this process to be dealt with. Yes, it hurts to let go of a person you've been wanting to be forever with. But I have no choice. I have to...

It's been almost 3 months since I last talked to him. I kid you not, I feel fulfilled. Ditching a person whom you love is very challenging and painful without question. I know more heartaches will come one of these days. That is why I am still keeping my fingers crossed and praying for more strength. Hopefully, people who unconsciously cheer me up will always be 2 steps behind me. And they are...

Innocence of Muslims

Honestly, I was not able to watch the whole film but I spent time to thoroughly search for it through internet and to watch every news broadcast as it is the current talk of the town. I have seen several criticisms and a few even-handed comments. Muslims would definitely despise the movie. Most of media critics would certainly defend freedom of speech. Let me give a word from an ordinary Muslim media practitioner that can sometime be a critic, and that is me:

As a Muslim, I find this movie very contemptuous. As a Mass Communication graduate and a media analyst, STILL I find it very contemptuous. Article 3 Section 4 of the 1987 Philippine constitution states that:

"No law shall be passed abridging the freedom of speech,

of expression, or of the press, or the right of the people

peaceably to assemble and petition the government
for redress of grievances."

Everyone can practice their free expression, be it in words or in art. I have a little knowledge about law, but as far as I know, there are expressions/speeches that are constitutionally protected. That is why defamatory, libel, and obscenity are legitimately not allowed by the government. Remember the movie "Passion of the Christ"? This movie shows what truly happened to Jesus Christ. Even so, it received a lot of disapproval. It was not even exposed to view in some movie theaters because there was a brutish content. How much more if a movie completely bastardizes a religious belief? To all Filipinos, have you heard of the artist who exhibited his artwork at CCP? His artwork that consists of this certain Jesus figurine with a condom placed above its head. This saddened Filipinos. Thus, you cannot blame Muslims to vehemently react about this issue. It just makes my heart bleed that Muslims' anger resulted in the death of 4 Americans in Libya.

Knowing these factors, it clearly indicates that the maker of the movie "Innocence of Muslims" lawfully and morally abused his freedom. LIMITATION is always attached with everything we do. Law gives us liberty to express, but it never allows us to perform rough handling. My perceptions may be based on the law I have in mind and based on a Muslim heart I carry. But if I speak without any of these, I can still consider this movie taboo. Even a 6-year-old kid would classify it this way. Use your right to express, but if you think it would only harm others, especially religious groups, better keep this to yourself. But I tell you, to express or not to express, this kind of thinking could burn your soul. Better spread love and create a pure heart.

Career Woman

Back in college, I could roam the whole town; be it home, school, malls, gym, friends' crib, or any niche. But this whole package turned into a very unfamiliar one. The collegian is now a career woman.

Office and home - both are the only places where I am now stepping my flimsy feet on. And this is totally strange to me. My college life was full of fun and fab. There was a pressure but still perfect! Presently, I can still get all stuff I want but now that I am working for a salaried living, it hella gives me a lot of stress that sometimes I want to burst and shout.

I spend most of my time at the office, dealing with hundred  of files with various issues. My life became a routine. I begin my day at 6:30 a.m., then head to the office from 9 a.m. until 6 p.m. I come home at around 7-ish. Of course, dinner and rest should be next. When the clock strikes 9, I workout for 2 hours. Afterwards, I get a bedtime shower so I can hit my pad at around 12-ish. Each day is spent this way. On the other hand, we take a scene for Kabayan Tambayan every weekend. Nonetheless, my parents make sure that we go out for shopping or resto hopping at least thrice a week. Going out with them is my stress reliever.

Honestly, my job for Kabayan Tambayan gives me more exhaustion than office work does. But no matter how tough it could be, I sleep at night with an ecstatic heart. This is because of the generous and cool people I am with every shoot.

Before, I don't believe when a person says he cannot give you a phone beep because he is busy. My reaction would be "He lied. He ain't busy coz he only doesn't want to talk to you". It is only now that I realize these people really exist. I now understand the true meaning of busyness. So, this is a perfect time for people to stop wondering why I ain't in a relationship at 21. Lol! I cannot contribute much of my precious time having a romantic tete-a-tete with a special someone. Remember communication is important, is it not? That I cannot give much of it.

Climbing the ladder of my career is what I do now. I am still young and want to achieve all my dreams and goals. Hence, I give my hundred and one percent in everything I do, no matter how tough it could be and how prone it is to eyebags. And at the end of the day, it will not only benefit myself but people in my heart as well.

Can I have you back?

"Hey 24-inch-waist! Can I have you back?" =(

As we grow older, changes in our body are inevitable. Some skinny boys become obese men; obese girls become skinny women. Some tubby ladies turn into voluptuous ones and some thin lads turn into hunky ones.

When I was just at the outset of my teenage years, I was really skinny. I can still remember how I get peeved whenever a classmate would call me "walking stick". Lolz! I had no idea why I was so thin when I could eat up 3 cups of rice during lunch.

The Walking Stick

I started to get conscious of my body and face when I was a first year high school student. Certainly, that's normal as I was in the puberty age. I was still thin then, but what made me frustrated was having flat chest and bottom. If you would glance sideways at me, you would see a living-wall.

Junior high came. My body developed. Well FOR ME, that bod shape was the best I could have. It lasted for 3 years, I guess. And when I hit sophomore year of college, I gained weight. People around me said they preferred this banana-shaped body. I was fine with it. As time rolled by, body fats increased. The girl with a 49-kilo weight became a lady with a 55-kilo weight. Still happy with it! :)

What really annoyed me was my tummy. It got bigger. And it annoyed me more to see a huge lower abdomen in front of a mirror as bad as my love handles. It was ironic to hear from a pageant organizer saying I may be a drunkard due to my big tummy. I was like "how would that happen when I don't drink alcohol at all?". I took it positively. Thus, it has been 2 months since I started working out. I used to go to gym when I was in the Philippines. Now that I am busy working here in Saudi Arabia, I try to spend at least an hour sweating out. I just do some exercises at home. Since I focus on my core muscles, I bought an Ab King Pro.

Ab King Pro

My Drinks

Where will these exercises lead me? Is it effective? How long will it take to get a flat abdomen? None of these questions are easy to answer. Nonetheless, I will continue what I started and I look forward to see a flat abdomen next time I stand in front of a mirror. This ain't purely about beauty, health speaks here as well.

The yuckie me after a deadly cardio.

****************

P.S. Pictures above are raw. No edit. I know my lower abdomen is bulky on the last picture. Constructive criticism is welcome. Should there be any changes on my bod, imma post pictures right away.

R.I.P. Secretary Jesse Robredo

Kung sino pa mga mababait na emlpeyado ng gobyerno, sila pa ang mga pumapanaw agad. Bakit hindi nalang ang mga taong nangungurakot, para mabawasan na mga magnanakaw sa Pilipinas?

Sabi nga nila, lahat ng mga nangyayari sa buhay natin, may dahilan. Maaaring kinuha na ni God si Sec. Jesse Roberedo dahil tapos na mission niya sa ating mga Pilipino. Ganoon na rin sa dalawang pilotong nasawi, Capt. Jessup Bahinting at Capt. Kshitiz Chand.

Ang maaari nalang nating gawin ngayon ay pasalamatan si Mr. Robredo sa kabutihan at katapatan na ipinamalas niya sa ating bansa. At syrempre ang maging masaya dahil kapiling na nila si God ngayon.

Mabuhay Sec. Jesse Roberto, Capt. Jessup Bahinting at Capt. Kshitiz Chand!

I Ain't Bad

"I AM A MUSLIM", I say and people give me confusing look. They showered me with "For real?" question. I cannot blame them. The way I dress is definitely not a way Muslim woman should dress. You sure ask "Why is that?".

My mom is a Catholic while dad is a very religious Muslim. Apparently, there is a huge difference between these 2 religions, particularly their traditions and beliefs. Be that as it may, my parents brought me up well. Judgmental people think I am liberated. But I AM NOT. You may see me wearing shirt and shorts, instead of abaya and hijab (Muslim clothes). You see me joining pageantry with swimwear portion. However, I tell you, drugs, alcohol, and cigars never passed through my hands. The clothes I have on do not bespeak the beauty of my heart. Also, I celebrate Christmas and Eid, but I follow Halal diet. 

My parents tenderly raised me to believe that ALL OF US HAVE ONE GOD WHO CREATED US AND WHOM WE PRAISE. We only vary from how we call Him and how we sing Him our praises. It is like, each of us are walking on different paths, but all these paths will lead us to only one direction, and that is God. Mom and dad frequently remind me of the 2 significant rules I've been hearing ever since I was a kid; first, pray from the bottom of your heart; and second, ignore hurting others' feelings and doing crime. Two short rules but when you follow, a peaceful and blissful life would be obtained.

I know a lot of you do not comprehend this set up or my way of living and find it so puzzling. That is fine with me. Think what you want of me... But I tell you, I AIN'T A BAD PERSON.

Never cease the friendship, but never be like them.

Yes, you guys own cool cars, have the latest gadgets, and dwell in an expensive village. But did you know those are not basis of victory? C'mon! Those aren't your possession at all 'coz no single coin came from you... ever! Face the mirror and realize you guys haven't hammered out yet. Neither did prove anything for yourself. How could you say you're fulfilled when you spend your nights boozing or playing baloney PC games? How could you brag when you are lying on your couch all day 'coz you have no papers to deal with? How could you attach success with your name when you got D on you report card and haven't experienced marching with the black gown on yet?

To you, Mister! I resent you for you carry them all the time. I resent you for copying their acts. I resent you for you always aim at those guys whose future careers are on the rocks. Why do you need to equal with them when you know you could do better than them and be more successful?

As they say, birds of the same feather, flock together. Right! A person befriends people who have the same personality as him because that makes them bring together. Good to know, MY FRIENDS are on the right track. I see ourselves as triumphant ladies 5 years from now.

Mister, if you pursue that act... I tell you... See yourself as a professional TAMBAY with your drunkard friends 2 years from now.

Call me "BRAGGART", but I call you a...

________

P.S. Sorry for being mean here. I just despise people who waste all their blessings in life and abuse their parents' kindness and trust.

Dear Sir Daryl,

"I don't like him" - These were the first words my mouth spilled out when I first met you. You sure knew the reason... But when I got along with you during Mr. and Ms. CEU 2012, I realized how kind-hearted person you were. I could count the times I hung with you on my fingers, but could never count all things you taught me.

Very HILARIOUS, it was, but you were the only person who said my singing voice resembles Mariah Carey's. I wanted to roll out laughing, but to be honest, that boosted my confidence. I've been disliking this husky manly voice, just so you know. You were such an intelligent and a talented person. Hence, there was no doubt you were a good mentor, choreographer, and a professor. You unselfishly shared your learnings with many people and even touched their lives through your inspiring stories and words.

Remember the time when we unwinded at this particular wine bar in QC? I was able to know you more. Perhaps you were already drunk that you couldn't stop yourself from narrating your life and love stories. You even mentioned why you were called "Sam" instead of "Daryl". How about when some of the candidates spent night at your place? Did you know I felt you were like a mom to us? We woke up with delicious breakfast placed on the table. I appreciate each time you inboxed me on Facebook just to say "Bakla, I miss you".

When I learned the news about you, I got shocked, felt sad, and cried but sought help from Him. It felt bad that I wasn't able to visit you at the hospital. Neither did see you before you opted to finally be with Him.

Sir Sam, thank you for being a good teacher and a thoughtful friend. Few memories we had yet will definitely be cherished.

I'm gonna miss you, Sir Daryl. And I am happy for you because you are now with your first love, Sam, and with our Almighty God. I love you, Sir!

Love,

Annizah

Employment Arena

Who would think that I could actually be an employed person only after a week of job hunting? Bragging, you say? Na-uh! This is the reason my parents brought me here right after I finished college.

My parents are aware of how scanty job offers are in the Philippines and how many millions of students graduate every year. It would take a month or more before you receive job interviews. They did not need to inject this slight note of reality into me because I myself know that getting a job there is like getting a blood out of stone.

You may say I ain't competitive enough for I chose to walk on an easy path, instead of vying for a job position with millions of fresh graduates. But I say... Not! Saudi Arabia is a rich country that gives livelihood to several Filipinos. It is easy to find your business here but not easy to work with other races whose personalities are unfamiliar. In fact, working abroad means lucking through. You are going out of your comfort zone which is the Philippines. No one knows if you would succeed or not. One more reason for working here is practicality. Why choose to be open-mouthed as you wait for calls from companies if there is an open door waiting for you? And of course, I want to help my parents in our expenses as early as possible. That is a meaningful reason that pushed me to seek job here. So voila! I am now an overseas Filipino worker in the kingdom.

When I received my first salary, my heart beat (past tense) fast that I was shaking as the man handed me the moolah. The feeling of receiving salary you work hard for is way different to receiving a TF. You know how much sweat and blood you sacrifice just to gain it. Wanna know how I spent my first salary?

When a typical childless unmarried person receives his salary, he sure buys the latest gadget. Well, I am not typical. I only bought an Ab King Pro (hoping I can get a flat abdomen. lol!) and did a so-so shopping spree. Moreover, I brought my whole fam bam to a restaurant. Then the rest of my money went to my little sister's bank account. It is alright to put some money for indulgence. But I will never use most of it for dispensable stuff. I have many plans for my future and family's. Hence, I think twice before I execute a certain act.

Life is too short. I have 10 years to achieve all my dreams and goals before I settle down and start my own family. And I am sure, God is with me all throughout! :)

Prayer

Dear God,

I am taking every pin that pricks my heart wholeheartedly for I know this is Your way of giving me might. And in the end, I believe that You would give me the saviour who will bestow warmth in my frail heart.

Thank You, Oh God...

Cordially,
A.C.