100 Happy Days

My Big Tummy *bow*
(Thought this pic fits the concept. Lol!)

I've been seeing #100happydays lately on instagram, facebook, and twitter. At first, I was a bit curious but was not interested enough, for me to ask Mr. Google.

I was making my green juice in the kitchen, thinking of my problems, and contemplating a solution a while ago. I have been feeling down of late, and I want to get rid of it. So, I was thinking of a therapy to conquer this and become happy. Suddenly, this trendy 100 Happy Days appeared in my thoughts. I googled it and read what's written on the site. It is pretty cool and thought-provoking. The sole thing to do is to post a picture of what gave a person happiness for hundred days in a row. It could be a thing, a person, an event, or anything that a camera can capture, as long as it brought happiness on the day. Moreover, its objective is promising. 

Here are the given reasons why one has to do it:

People successfully completing the challenge claimed to:

•  - Start noticing what makes them happy every day;
•  - Be in a better mood every day;
•  - Start receiving more compliments from other people;
•  - Realize how lucky they are to have the life they have;
•  - Become more optimistic;
•  - Fall in love during the challenge.

I will do it! Not because I want to be "in", but I think it would be a good therapy for me. And withal, there is nothing wrong and nothing to lose. Starting today, March 26, I will be uploading pictures with HASHTAG 100 DAYS written alongside, on my twitter >here<. I prefer this social site as I only have a few followers, thus, only few will be pestered by my pictures. Lol!

Try it yourself! Visit the site: >here<

Good luck!

Fairy tale - I would like to believe

I am Cinderella when I graciously do household chores. I suddenly become Ariel when water cascades on my skin. I turned into sleeping beauty, Aurora, every night as I bed down. Call me Snow White each time I frolic with my little sister and nephews. Once I sit in my little nook and start turning the pages of a book, I am Belle.

I grew up dreaming of being a princess and of having my own fairy tale. I am a hopeless romantic person, I guess? I wanted to see a knight in shining armor who could make other men seemed blurry beside him. I believed in prince charming whom I would paint the "happily ever after" with, right after we kiss in the midst of a butterfly swarm. I loved to stay beside a man who believes that we are soulmates even if the universe says otherwise.

I encountered a few moments where fairy tale town was so close to me - like 3 more steps and I would reach the castle. I met my prom king like Prince Hans of Frozen who cynically turned into evil in the end. And then there's a man who climbed my tangled hair all the way up to the tower to save me. How magical, right?

One day, things just collapsed. I don't know if I am just stupid, comparing my experience with Disney's legendary stories. Or it could be... fairy tale is possible in this world but I just ruined everything.

I wold like to believe that fairy tale is just a fabricated story found in a book made for children, so I need to wake up as I am already 22. I would like to believe that there are no princes and princesses because men and women tend to be heinous at some point in their lives. I would like to believe that there is no perfect love story as two people in it are full of flaws. I would like to believe that fairy tale is just a bull crap because people are humans who create mistakes and can never create such a perfect fairy-tail-ish record.

I would like to believe these things. I do not want to think that I had the chance to be like Cinderella or Snow White, but I just let the moment slip away for I chose to become a DIRTY wicked witch.

Regrets, go away, please.

Gone

A complainant of life, a heart breaker, and a procrastinator - I have been all of these lately.

This page has become my diary. Aside from wanting to share my experiences and personal opinion about random stuffs with readers (who stomach my own sound judgement), blogging has become a way of expressing myself and releasing emotions. It is an effective source of great solace! But try to scan my recent posts here and you would realize they are all about melancholy and problems. Unfortunately, I turned my page into a very lonesome place.

I miss the old carefree life. I miss sleeping with a buoyant mind at night. I miss blogging about how I luxuriate in happiness. I miss going to college, joining a competition, living a fab life. I miss the old me... See how discontent I am with my life now?

I know it is horrible to be continually discontent with my life, when others suffer from starvation and others lose a loved one. This drama sprang when I wanted to have a stable career. One day, I just found my importunate self with a big pressure instilled in me. I could wait no more.

I feel depressed and frustrated, especially when I know I am doing my part but does not turn out well. It kills happiness. It negatively affects my perspective. Does everything depend upon one's action? Or it solely depends upon one's fate/destiny? Worse, I stopped appreciating life and people beside me.

Where is the girl who joyfully dances while being showered with problems? Where is the girl who never stops aiming high? Where is the girl full of dreams and hope? Where is the girl who works in the morning and exercises at night? Where is the girl who is so in love and would cross a mud hole for her sweetheart?

Here I am now - Squawking about life, throwing away people's love and affection, and drowsing only to skip the blues.

I originally wanted this to end on a hopeful note. But it is hard to do so when you are sick at heart and low-spirited.

I want this to be over.

365 Days of Lies and Butterflies

I'm off duty, which means I do have a lot of time to do whatever I want to do. One of these is to do my traditional "reminiscing-and-blogging-about-the-previous-year". We are on the 3rd week of love month and I have not started it yet, unlike the previous years where sharing it on Facebook is done on its 2nd week. Procrastinating may be the reason. Partly? Partly. But I think the main reason is... I'm off duty yet busy hurting people.

-------

Exactly 365 days have passed. All is said and done. Farewell.

Say Yes to Health

2014 has just opened its gate. Most of you are done with your New Year's resolution list. I am pretty certain that "diet" tops the list. Everyone wants a hot physique. Who doesn't?

Angular cheeks, scrawny legs, visible clavicle, small bust, and a slightly flat buttocks - This is what I got after planning to gain weight and look a bit plump. However, what I got was the other side of the coin.

Last April, I posted about the cessation of my getting-a-flat-abdomen program. I began eating all food I want and crave for, from here on out. Rice is included on my menu. I savour BR's brownie-ala-mode almost every week. But I am so proud that I was able to completely ditch carbonated drinks.

I try to be healthy once in a while. If indolence (which I am in a relationship with, Lol!) does not strike me, I do sit ups and leg raise. Additionally, I discovered a very healthy drink, which I am certain that most of you know about it. I followed Mariel Rodriguez on instagram. I admire her for being very health-oriented. She always posts a picture of a fruit-veggie juice she makes. I've been seeing this kind of juice on some wellness sites. I thought this would be good for my parents' health, and so I bought a juicer. Eventually, I joined them. Most of the combinations I create suck at tastes. They usually taste like herbs or even like grass. I have yet to discover fruit-veggie mixture that would tastefully dive on my tongue. I do prepare infused water (spring water, organic cucumber, lemon, organic mint,and lime), too. Try these drinks! They are good for the body.

I want to be in shape again. I am planning to flatten this bulgy stomach anew, not right now. Later this year, perhaps. In the meantime, imma firmly stick to preparing and consuming healthy food, with a sinful nibble. I hope I will be able to bring it off. Lol! 

Hopeless & Helpless

I don't live in poverty. I did not lose a loved one. No one left me. I do not dwell in a place bombarded with guns and tanks. My problem cannot get even with world dilemma, not even half of it. But why do I feel so hopeless and helpless?

I've been feeling a deep sense of sadness within me lately. Things do not fall into place. Every little thing does not compromise on my fundamental plans/preference. It just sucks that what I assiduously plan for would eventually get jeopardized. This frequently happens.

Many priorities are in my bucket; priorities that adjoins snags. I do not know which to pull out first. Time management is not the solution, I tell you. I try to put right amount of time on each priority, but a hindrance always blossoms along the way. Always...

I am a shallow person. Smallest things can curve up my straight face. But right now, I wanna be hugged tightly or be patted. I feel like I am alone despite the company of my family and friends. There are moments where I would go to the comfort  room or bedroom only to silently weep tears of the blues.

I am lost. I do not know where this wheel of fate will take me, where I will land, and how much more I can stand. God sure wants to tell me something which I have yet to learn about. May this misery be worthwhile.

'Tis the season...

'Tis the season to be beautiful, to have a shopping binge, and to meet friends. But I'd rather surf the net while I chomp wafer sticks with my pyjamas on.

 

Everyone is prepping for the holidays (Christmas and New Year).  I saw my aunts having cooked sumptuous food, my uncles having decorated their houses, and my cousins having tried out their new clothes. Whereas, I see on Facebook that my friends hang out here and there.

 

I've been here in the Philippines for almost 4 weeks already. My mission here has not veritably started yet for I have to return to Saudi Arabia by February for a resident visa renewal purpose. This causes deferment. What's keeping me busy now is the small business invested by my mom. It is only a  mini-mart which was built by the generous hands of my Uncle June. I have planned to commit myself to handling it personally for the whole month of December, that I rejected several hangout invitations from friends and even ditched CEU Alumni Homecoming. So here I am, spending my whole day talking to customers and selling goods.

 

Small business, it is, but it injects me with a strong dose of stress. Each day I spend inside this mart makes me want to spew. There are even times that I feel depressed and miserable. It is simply because this is not  my cup of tea nor my preferred bread and butter. I do not know if I am just being jerk, but doing this everyday changes my outlook in life. Worse... it changes negatively. I become more desperate and a bit of depressed. What makes me go on is hearing my mom's joyous laughter as I tell her about the store.

 

2013 will end soon. I can see 2014 waving hello. I try my hardest to end the year with positive vibes, but that is not how I feel. I do not want to be dishonest with myself. I am unhappy. Thankfully, I have my family and friends who always pulls both ends of my lips.

I will leave it all to God...