Black Refinement

Jonas Presas's Creation

Photographed by: Pai Koh

Riyadh Got Talent

"I don't believe in competition. I believe in the spirit of helping other people, especially who are in need" - A very inspiring line from a Pakistani doctor who was one of the contestants of Riyadh Got Talent. This was his answer when I asked him on stage about how he feels.

Healing Hands Foundation is founded by Mrs. Alina Articulo. Members are from Philippines, New Zealand, Australia, USA, and Saudi Arabia, but all based in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. From the name of the foundation itself, it clearly gives you an idea about their mission. Their project last year concerned Typhoon Yolanda's victims. They provided food and medical assistance. This year's project aims to rebuild classrooms of an elementary school in  Tacloban, Philippines which were completely devastated by Typhoon Yolanda.

The foundation organized a small event called "Riyadh Got Talent" last month. The actual event took place on September 12, 2014. People would think that it is the typical talent search, all about showcasing talent and winning prizes. But of course, there was a deeper and more meaningful reason why Riyadh Got Talent was created. Luckily, I became part of this successful event. I co-hosted with MJ Fanorma.

12 contenders competed. There were singers, dancers, and beat boxers. Majority of the contenders are Filipinos. I tell you, judges really had a hard time choosing the winners because all of them possess magnificent talents. But this year's Riyadh Got Talent champion is the BYB Dance Crew.

BYB Dance Crew

Each admission ticket was sold for 100 SAR, which included dinner. 300 tickets were sold. Many gave donations too.

It is amazing to know that despite the restraint of the country, residents could still congregate and work hand in hand for humanity.

Entertaining and at the same time helping - Riyadh Got Talent showed great humanity. It's my pleasure to be part of it.

See the video and other pictures below:

Extempore Blog leads to Realization

At exactly 1:00 pm, I began typing this entry. I am not in the mood to compose one, but I think this is a good way to consume the remaining working hours. I have no more files to work on. At times like this, I used to play Clash of Clans, but my supervisor caught me doing it this morning, so I am trying to lay low now. Hence, the blogging. Do not worry! He is kind, no reprimanding happened. Haha!

The Fault of Clash of Clans (Lol!)

I am not totally ready with the topic I am going talk about. Let us see where these flimsy fingers will take me. Hmmmm???

Ok! Here...

I had a self-observation last night. I realized that seeing other people happy makes me even happier, especially if they went through hardship. Just like my big sister. She had been arguing with her current sponsor for she wanted to transfer to another company that gives bigger offer. She did not succeed, but the good thing is that her current company satisfied her demands.

Another successful stories are my 2 counsins'. Jermaine and Kuya Marlon came from impecunious families. Well, their families used to be wealthy, but life can be very challenging sometimes. They lost everything. Presently, both of them are striving hard. Jermaine is now working in Doha, Qatar and Kuya Marlon in Japan. When I saw their pictures on Facebook, I could not stop thanking God. Tears of joy fell down my face. You may find me arty-farty, but I am not. I witnessed how difficult their lives have been. Blessings were poured upon them and I felt so blessed too.

It feels good to see people being illumined by sunshine after a strong storm fumed. It even feels better to see people whom you have been praying for to be happy actually became happy in the end.

Refreshing Stopover at Pangasinan

Hundred Islands - the only attraction in Pangasinan that I had known. I was not fully aware that Pangasinan is a beautiful province with several beautiful attractions... until we had our stopover.

This is a late post. We went to Pangasinan in April 2014.

The original plan was to visit our relatives in Pangasinan and head to Baguio straight off. But due to my nephews' thirst for adventure,we visited two beautiful places. Before I forget, TPLEX (Tarlac–Pangasinan–La Union Expressway) provides easier access to Region 1. Hence, we reached the place after a few hours. We were able to visit my cousin and his family.

The first spot we explored was Enchanted Cave located in Bolinao. There was a tourist guide who assisted us around the place and acted as our photographer too. Hihi! Enchanted Cave is a resort, I may say. There is a man-made pool and a man-made falls. Its main feature is the cave itself with natural spring in it. The tourist guide told us that water can be drunk in the morning, before tourists soak in, which never will I do. Hihi! Honestly, it is refreshing to dive in. It is amazing how clear the water is that make you see the corals at the bottom.

At the time, accommodations are still being put up. So, we stayed in a hotel.

Next morning was supposed to be a trip to Baguio. The adults (mama, papa, & Tito June) did not want to range over the place anymore. However, we passed by these huge vinyl wall letters forming "Hundred Islands". Oh dear! Who would not want to eye this spectacular tourist attraction of my homeland? No one, except the adults who could not endure the heat of the sun. Since we were not able to repress our excitement, we insisted.

We rented a big boat for 1,700 pesos. You can choose a small one for 1,000 pesos, but this kind of boat is a bit shaky and unsteady. There is more of a secured feel riding a bigger one. Each person has to pay environmental fee which I forgot how much.

Two islands were visited by us, but you can visit all the developed islands. We were just thinking of the adults who did not go ashore and stayed at the boat the whole adventure. Adults will always be adults. Haha!

After leaving Hundred Islands, we went to Jollibee to celebrate Kongkong's (my nephew) 5th birthday.

Next time I will visit Pangasinan, I will make sure to pass by Treasures of Bolinao.

Note to my 23-year-old-self

I started this post through narrating the crap I put into my life. I was about to finish the 2nd paragraph when I realized... Here I am again, recounting my downfall. It's as if I cry for sympathy. Lol! Hence, I raped backspace key for revision. Haha!

Since I just turned 23 last month, I want to collect more good vibes. Also, I realized that frequent discussion of your misfortune and mistakes may plunge you deeper into the hole. Thus, I need to do some decluttering in my life.

I made a list of things I need to do so as to gain life betterment. Here they are:

1.) Nuff with virtual drama
A bit of explanation is stated above. I've been posting about my bitterness on twitter, IG, plurk, and blogspot. I should minimize doing such. I will not completely stop this virtual sharing, especially on this page you are currently at. As you may know, blogging gives me relief. I think, if I were to share, it should be something that could inspire others. If I were to express, it should be something that would not hurt others.

2.) Productive
When I was still jobless, I was just staying at home and was doing chores. Proud to say I had been doing laundry and ironing. T'was tough, you know! Haha! Presently, I work at the office from 9 am to 6 pm. I am unable to help my mom with it. When I get home, it is either I take a nap or play Clash of Clans. Lol! I need to lessen the time I spend on unnecessary naps and mobile games. Do the chores and run errands as soon as possible. Also, I must bake and juice again.

3.) Healthy lifestyle
Juicing, exercising, and consuming healthy food have been ditched by yours truly. Body toning becomes harder as one gets older. I am planning to be fit again. Reduce munching too much sweets and fries, plus perform some exercises. However, I doubt that I will be consistent with this, especially when mom loaded a basin with packs of M&M's

4.) Negative people
People with a bucketful of negativity are pervasive and contagious. I, being a prophet of doom, easily gets influenced by them. Some of them wear very charming masks but their hearts have bad intention towards you. Some appear to be extending their hands, but their unconscious minds want to prove something on your face. Moreover, people who do not want me in their lives must be out of mine too. Giving them freedom will set me free.

5.) Frugality
Since I am now employed, I should be mindful of the future in spending moolah. No more binge shopping. If I am to indulge myself, imma make it grand but has to be done once a year only.

6.) Groom yourself
Onlookers think I am beauty-conscious, but my family and close friends know how simple I could be. Seldom do I groom myself. Comb the hair, apply powder and wear pink lipstick - my oh-so-quick routine before going out. I swear, I do not know how to put on my make up. I always end up caking my face with it. Being presentable is a must for a 23-year-old lady. Thus, I shall exert more effort in learning of make up application.

7.) Stay Connected
For the past months, I've been busy with random stuffs. I ignored my FB messages. I forgot to say hi to my college and high school friends, nor did I even bother to visit their FB wall to get updates. I will try to read all my unopened messages and respond. I will try collecting my super friends' mobile numbers again. Hihi!

8.) Optimism
One thing I hate about myself is being a pessimist, to the point where my self-esteem reaches the ground. I've been battling with pessimism. I hope I can win in the battlefield.

9.) Pursue my dream
I posted on my other blog before that I have one last dream. My life has been a roller coaster lately. I want some changes. I want improvement. I may not be successful in achieving my dream, but I know I could obtain the changes and improvement I want during the whole process.

10.) Pray More
I do not forget God. He is always in my mind and heart. I just want to talk to him more.

So, these are the 10 things... or I should say my 10 goals after turning 23. I am praying and hoping that I won't need to celebrate another birthday to accomplish them. Lazim!

Would you lie with me and forget the world?

I pushed the door. The breeze kissed my skin right away. It was cold, I guessed? But my head was boiling up inside that turned cool breeze into nothing in just a snap. I felt queasy as I walked out of the bar. Heavy head. I knew there were many people moving through, but I was seeing the image spinning.

I headed to the parking lot to look for my car. I was too wasted I stumbled about. Did I get hurt? No. Numbness, what do you expect? I breathed heavily, then lay on my back.

On the spur of the moment, a twinkling up above captured my attention. The spinning image became blurry. I was trying to figure out what it was... until clear sky happed.

I got stupefied! The round and bright moon was beautifully hanging high in the sky, surrounded by bright white stars. Such a wonderful starry sky! My world stopped. The busy area hushed. Numb, yet a pinch of sanguinity was twirling in me.

A few more minutes, I heard a big, loud voice from the open parking lot, "What are you doing here?" A familiar face sprang upon my face. His head covered the scenic panorama of the bright sky. "Get up", he was shouting while grabbing my right hand. "This is a parking lot, not a bedroom where you can just lounge. Do you wanna get hit by a car?", he scolded me.

"The moon and stars look very wonderful. I just wanna stare at them until they're gone. Lying here makes me forget the world", I answered as I eyed the most lustrous star above.

Shaking his head, he sat beside me. He took off his biker's jacket and placed it on my thighs. "Be still but don't let others spot that floral fabric underneath", he jokingly said. I was wearing a red fitted dress. Smile was seen on my face. Him, witty!

Gabriel knows how hard-headed I could be, especially when I battle with depression.

Suddenly, he lay on my right side. I was so surprised. He then stared at the sky. I thought he would utter compliments about it. But...

"You do not drink. Worse, you let yourself get drunk. What happened?", he drily asked.

I did not want to speak. I was just looking straight at this person who sprawled on the dusty pavements of the parking lot to join my absurd idea, without hesitations.

From having gazed up, Gabriel turned his head to the left. "Why did you drink? Tell me", he repeated.

"You know what?", I began. I looked up again. "If Simon finds me lying here, he would ask me to arise. If I insist, he would prolly leave. Yes, he would be worried about me, but of course he cares more for himself.  Thus, you would see him running to the next club. You know, to entertain himself," I continued. "I have nothing against it because I fully understand how he feels. He is the fall guy... the sufferer... the victim," I closed my eyes for a while and took a deep breath. "He would let me lie in this chaotic world," I crossly said.

Silence...

"Gab, I also hurt you, remember?" I recalled. "A lot! I cheated on you. I blew all the sacrifices you made for me. I destroyed all our dreams, your dream," I said. Tears started to fall.

I raised my voice, "I deeply fell in love with another guy, though I was engaged to you. I ran away from our wedding ceremony! I betrayed you!"

He was very still. I wondered what he was thinking.

"I do not understand. Despite the misery I gave you, you are still here beside me," I said with my whipping voice. "Why can't you leave me? Why can't you turn your back on someone stupid who broke your heart and dreams?", I sobbed

"You are stupid more than you think," heavy words uttered by calm lips. "You brought everything to nought. You jilted me in front of the altar, in front of our loved ones. You ruined all the things we planned and we dreamt of. You made me feel like I'm a trash," he imperturbably said.

How could he keep such composure when he speaks from an aching heart?

"That is my point!", I answered as I moved upward to sit down. "I treated you like a trash and you're still here," I angrily said. Dizziness started to be felt.

"I'm okay here, alright? I can go home by myself. Leave me now", I commanded him.

"I will not," he calmly responded.

"I am stupid. But you are more stupid for staying next to me!", I yelled.

Hard-headed Gabriel did not listen. He was still lying there, staring up above. But apparently, he was controlling his tears from falling.

I was badly pissed off. My head got heavier and heavier. I was experiencing terrible vertigo. I lost my energy. "Why do you choose to stay?", I whispered.

He sat down. "First, you are a woman, drunk, and incontrollable. I am mad at you, but it does not mean I could just ditch you in times like this, in a place like this. Second...", he paused

"Yes, I am so so so mad at you," he emphasized. "Lying on a parking lot is completely lame. But you told me, doing so makes you forget the world. And I also want to forget everything. Forget what happened, forget what we're told. I am not sure how this incredibly irrational idea would work but...", he was stuttering.

He gulped and said, "Being with you makes me forget the pain. I am hurting, but being with you gives me bliss."

When he bowed his head, I knew he was crying already. And so did I. I was hardly crying, I was about to faint.

"You look pale. You need to get home", he said. He stood up and carried me.

The last thing I could remember is... I threw up all over his shirt when he carried me.

I feel a hammering headache now and my stomach is in pain. So, this is what hangover is huh?

I better call my sister and ask what happened last night.

Iʿtikāf

Religious - I am not, but I am not forgetting Him. I pray. I thank Him. I ask for forgiveness. I ask help from Him.

In the 2nd week of Ramadan, a good friend of mine invited me to join her in camping. Being a home buddy, I was hesitant in the beginning as it would take 3 days and 2 nights. Nonetheless, I accepted the invitation. I was very down at that juncture, and so I realized that perhaps it would be the perfect time to talk to Allah at His house.

On the 24th of July, I packed up my stuffs and headed to the mosque in Umalhamam. I honestly had no idea about the setup, the process, or even its essence. I went there with the good intention up my sleeve - repentance & guidance.

My first night was not that happy, maybe because I was so ignorant and a bit culture-shocked.

When the night fell, the whole mosque became thronged. That night was believed to be the special night where Allah would shower all his blessings to the people inside His home. Hence, many people entered the mosque to do the Tarawih. I may say it was the most amazing prayer I've ever made. The place was crowded that made it hard for me to perform sallah. But I did not care! I prayed with all my heart. It was the first time I felt God is just beside me, embracing me. I cried so hard as I asked forgiveness from Him for all the sins I have committed. Unexpectedly, I started to hear other whining voices, not just mine. Then suddenly, I heard the muezzin whined as he recited prayer. I believe they also felt God's presence.

The entire second day was spent praying and reading religious books. I was so happy to finish a book. You see, I never gave reading books a go. This was the first time!

I returned home on the 26th. Having taken my clothes off, I saw bruises on my both knees. They became a bit darker. But I kid you not, those bruises made me feel proud of myself. It's an accomplishment; a lot of first times and realizations. The best realization I had is the equality inside the mosque. All women are draped with simple clothes, with no makeup and studs. Everyone shares what she has. They talk to and assist each other. You would not perceive who the wealthy ones and simple ones are. No one dominates. You might be sitting beside a person with a royal blood thou.

No words could perfectly explain this experience. At the moment, I believe my repentance has been accepted by God. He did not just fix my heart. He fixed my entire soul.

And you know what, I just discovered that I'tikaf is a retreat. I have always wanted to go on a retreat. Unpremeditatedly, I had.