Ride to Unwind

I am not addicted to wheels. Neither do I fall to a hard-core group of people who fork out large moolah to pimp their rides. As long as I sit on a pink seat, then my hands are ready to put the stick shift in motion.

I am residing in a patriarchal middle east country that does not allow women to drive. It is ridiculously frustrating to know that I cannot drive in a place where owning a car and filling up a gas tank is easy-peasy. Saudi Arabia, it is! But do not misunderstand me. Driving ban rule for women is not a plight I could consider, thus, I wholeheartedly respect Shura Council. I just miss driving! I miss my pink car! I miss my itinerary!

I received my personal car and learned to drive at the age of 17. I still remember how my back and leg muscles tautened as I drove along the street of Grand Royale Village. I was accompanied by my uncle during my first 6 months of driving. Subsequently, my parents allowed me to drive my car single-handedly. And this was the start of my long list of travel itinerary swaying.

Many places were visited. If I had been allowed to go to far places by my parents, I might have driven to Ilocos. The farthest place I got to drive to was Baguio, but I shared the driving. The longest drive where I personally drove the whole way was from Pampanga to Tagaytay (north to south).

Talk about accidents, fortunate me encountered none. Well, I nearly had some. The most unforgettable one was when I got angry with my then boyfriend and tried to escape. I drove my car as fast as I could. He chased me using his. Race, it was! Hell yeah! I was a better driver than him. Unfortunately, he was unable to run down me because he slammed into a stone barricade. My emotions went from anger to guilt the moment I learned about it. I was very thankful that he did not get hurt. Yes, I could be that stupid. [insert sad face here] Talk about damage, he spent a lot for the repair.

Car is fun to be ridden when you are with nice people and a cool music playing in the background. If I would switch it to radio FM... Magic 89.9's "Boys Night Out" and "Good Times" could crack me.

What I really do miss about having a personal car is... I could flee whenever stress, depression, and shiznit emerge. Each time this would happen, I would grab my key and eventually would find myself going on a road trip with a seemingly non-existing destination. I dunno! I feel relieved doing such. And 4 days ago, I badly needed my pinkie car. Something happened that hopelessness suddenly struck me. I got no car here. I thought of getting a taxi to go anywhere, but this place is in peril, so I did not.

I find driving magical. I drive without knowing I create an experience out of it. Driving takes me to various places and unpremeditatedly spawns a journey.

By the way, me likey to learn how to drift. Who can teach me?

Petty details: I'm a barefoot driver.

Productive Day Off

Ramadan Mubarak, everyone! Since this month is very holy and essential, people need to fast and spend more time reaching Almighty Allah. For this reason, working hours are shortened. Like for us, we just work from 10 in the morning 'til 4 in the afternoon. This makes me become amazingly productive.

I am your Pinky Maid.

July 19, 2013 was a day off. I was not able to catch a lot of Zzzz, yet I was in high spirits to do some chores. A night before that, I planned to help mama do the laundry so papa would just take a rest as he was fasting. Unfortunately, I woke up at around 10-ish and learned that clothes were hung on a clothesline already. So, I just picked up the vacuum's plug and cleaned the room I shared with my little sister.

The flat we are presently renting in Saudi Arabia is very old and small. It only has 2 bedrooms, a kitchen, and a bathroom. Investing a lot of money for a temporary dwelling is not practical.

You may think it is easy to clean such a poky bedroom. But definitely it ain't for someone who has many stuffs, like me. It is kind of hard to place and organize my girly stuffs. I sorted dangling earrings from regular ones, long necklaces from short ones, bracelets from watches and arranged my clothes by color. Shoes were not moved because they are placed outside the room.

By the way, my little sister helped me with this task. Well, I actually forced her to do so. Lol! She was the one who dusted the stuffed toys and embellished a small part of the wall with cutesy stickers. I am not into these toys, but I do have 6 that I sweetly treasure. 2 of them were even shipped from Philippines to Riyadh, the other 2 were included in my luggage during a trip, and 2 were left. Their names are Petunia, Bugs Bunny, Fiorelli, Butterflee, Polywrath, and an angry bird. Lol! Kind of corny, IKR?

These pink netbook and tablet are abandoned. I was using them way back college. After a year, I tried to turn them on. Gladly, they still function.

My productive day did not just end there. After dusting and sorting, I opted to flex my muscles. I had a 30-minute cardio, 200-rep squats, and 200-leg raises. Having done those deadly exercises, I craved for pancakes. T'was my first time to make some, thus, they got burnt like expected. I asked myself after seeing the result, "How many more pancakes will get burnt until I accomplish a perfect one?" I'm going to learn the answer this Friday. Teehee!

It is holy month of Ramadan, so I ended this day by watching a youtube video. A very good chum forwarded its link: "Fasting Without Taqwa? SHOCKER! | Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan".

It feels so great that I can be productive once in a while, despite being busy at work. Well, I may consider it a fulfillment because I know how tight I embrace laziness. Haha! Way to go, Annie!

Snaplove

Gulpe De Gulat

Nakausap ko 'yung matalik kong kaibigan, para ko na nga siyang kapatid e. Tawang-tawa ako nang naisambit niya 'yung salitang "gulpe de gulat". Gulat nga rin ako na may ganung phrase pala na nage-exist. Malamang mage-exist siya kasi nangyayari sa totoong buhay eh. Pero hindi ko alam kung akma ba 'yung mga salitang 'yun sa nangyayari sa akin ngayon... Ay! Noon pala.

May nalaman ako. Natuklasan ko 'yung konting katotohanan. Hindi buo, pero ayos na sa akin 'yun. Hindi naman ako yayaman dun pero sobrang saya ko nung nalaman ko 'yun eh! Saglitang saya lang kasi bigla kong naisip... Eto 'yung masayang katotohanan na hindi mo na pwedeng panghawakan. Ay mali! Kahit pala malaman ko ng mas maaga o sobrang aga pa (kahit malaman ko 'yun habang fetus pa ako), hindi ko parin pwedeng panghawakan kasi wala rin namang magbabago.

Gusto kong idetalye para maintindihan ninyong mga nagbabasa. Sigurado ako makakaramdam kayo ng tawa at pagkagulat. Kaso hindi pwede eh!

Anlaking pasasalamat ko doon sa kaibigan ko. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag! OA ba?! Hindi naman siguro, kasi antagal ko ng gustong ilabas eh. Hindi ko lang alam kung sino ang tamang taong pagsasabihan ko 'non. Kung sino ang makakasagot nito: "Will I ever get to heaven with you?Will I ever breathe the air that you do? Will I ever touch the angels? Will they fly? Will I ever? " Pilitin mo nalang i-connect sa topic.

Ang naiisip ko ngayon... Kahit hindi ko panghahawakan 'yung katotohanang 'yun, masaya narin ako kasi nalaman ko na hindi pala nag-iisa 'yung puso ko noon. Wow! Puso?! Paano na-involve ang puso dito? Lol! Ganito nalang... Hindi pala ako nag-iisa. Parehas pala kami ng nararamdaman para sa isa't isa. Hindi na nga lang pwede...

Bewilderment

I feel like I've been riding on a roller coaster lately... A very fast roller coaster with several towering loops and has a super steep steel angle in the midst- that when it drops, my heart fumbles. There are moments that tickle me. Sometimes, it makes me nervous. Sometimes, I feel like crying. But mostly, this roller-coaster-ride-feeling scares the beejeezus out of me.

Random things have been unexpectedly happening to me, be it on my career or on a personal level. Someone asked me, "How do you feel? What is it?". I just answered, "You know it. You get me. Alam mo naman yun, 'di ba? 'Di ba? Balu mu naman ita." I wish I could provide much details about it, but I myself cannot explain how I feel. All I know is it affects me... Big time!

When the sun fills up my room and its ray beams down on the fleshy part of my face, my heart automatically chirks up. I feel happy. I feel inspired. I feel loved. But when stars start to form constellation, my mind starts to wonder that it eventually leads to bewilderment. I ditch these lonely puzzling nights most of the time and just utter "I'm fine with this". But I cannot be this for a long time. Time will come that I need to get out of this comfort zone. I need to decide. Which to choose... Where to go...

I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that this roller coaster is worth the ride.

Never Rush

I wanted to age so fast. I wanted to grow old at a rare of knots. I always wished, time would fly quickly. This was all because of selfish reasons.

When I was a kid, I wished to be a teenager quickly so I could use make up and hang out with friends. When I became a teenager, I wished to be a young adult quickly so I could go anywhere I want without receiving a "no" from my parents and earn money. Now that I am a young adult, I want time to crawl at a snail's pace.

As I began to age, I noticed that time does go by faster. How? Through my mama and papa's wrinkles on their smooth faces and their heads covered with some grey hair. I feel pain every time my eyes spot these. No, they are not weak. Their legs are still firm. Their eyes and vision are still clear. My father can still carry a sack of rice whereas mom can still do yoga with me. But there is something that scares me. It is when the time comes that only wheelchair can bring them to beautiful places instead of their legs... that cloudy and blurry places would be seen by their eyes, instead of green grasses and colorful rainbow... that they can no longer lift their hands to touch our bulbous cheeks.

I don't want to think about it. Believe me! But it is inevitable. I am frightened. Presently, papa is struggling with arthritis that makes it hard for him to fold his legs every time he prays (sallah). Recently, mama went through menopause which caused lack of hemoglobin. We rushed her to the hospital as she felt very weak. Mama was told that she has growing fibroid (Myoma). Seeing them suffering from pain terribly wounds my heart. If only pain could be shifted, I would snatch it.

My father is all set for retirement. He has been trying to resign but the company did not allow him. But this year, no one can stop him. His business in the Philippines is ready to operate anyway.

They are still strong. They can still see. They are still healthy. And I want them to be like this for a thousand years, not in a figurative way, but in a literal one. And I know this is far-fetched! I will just hope that time moves slowly. I don't mind if my parents will not allow me to hangout at far places. I don't care if I still need to ask permission for every action I do. I don't take offence at their strict parenting, all because I am still young, living with them. It is alright! Ayokong dumating yung panahon na gagala ako kasama ang mga kaibigan at hindi na kailangan magpaalam kasi wala na kong magulang. Ayoko ng ganon... Ayoko...

To each of you who wants time to fly fast, please do not. Let it crawl. Rejoice every second with your loved ones. Join every heartbeat you hear from their bosom. Remember, clocks go clockwise and not anti-clockwise. You can never turn back time!

Breathing Space

It has been a month since the last time I scribbled and doodled on this page. What have I been up to?

After ranting and ranting about the strain I got from work, I finally took one-month vacation in my homeland with the family. It was a leisure, indeed, but it was more of a reuniting-with-your-valued-ones episode. A month is too quick! It is just like staying at wonderland for a jiffy.

Prior to my vacation, I had long lists of where-to-go, what-to-do, and whom-to-meet. Some of these happened and some did not. Unexpected things even took place, which was great. So let us sift:

Where to go's:

1. I went to Hongkong for 2 days and to China for one day. The most unforgettable experience occurred at Disneyland.
2. I went to Ilocos Norte for the shooting of Kabayan Tambayan. This adventure turned me into Morena.
3. I went to Enchanted Kingdom for some woozy and dizzy rides.
4. I went to Baguio to see the picturesque tourists spots and to breathe cool fresh air.
5. I was not able to go to Boracay or El Nido or whatever beautiful beaches could be seen in the country.

What to do's:

1. I unexpectedly experienced water sports, like jet-ski and banana boat, at Pagudpud.
2. I joined the 1st Anniversary celebration of Kabayan Tambayan.
3. A tree-top adventure at Baguio.
4. I experienced going home late, at around 4-ish a.m., from Eastwood.
5. I did not have the time to do a shopping spree at Divisoria.

Whom to meet's:

1. Relatives are neighbors too. No need to set an appointment. Lol!
2. Had lunch with Super Friends.
3. Chilled with my chums from CEU Malolos, Makati, and Mendiola.
4. I personally met the crew of Kabayan Tambayan.
5. Had a workout session with my Rockwell gym-mates.
6. I was unable to visit my Alma Mater and my bosses from DZMM Aksyon Ngayon. I felt bad for Ma'am Alva invited me to visit CEU and Sir Zaldy asked me when I would see them.

This breathing space was short but several joyous moments were gathered. It even became more joyous as I spent time with good people. I promise, I will make it up to all my friends I did not see.

This one month vacay just took stress away from me, gave me motivation to continue working abroad, and boosted up the felicity of my soul. 'Til next time! :)